


Streets of hope. (ON HOLD)

by Alicestarsoverthemoon00



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asshole Terry Milkovich, Barebacking, Bottom Ian Gallagher, Bottom Mickey Milkovich, But Mickey has some anxiety, Coming Out, Dysfunctional Family, Enemies, Enemies to Friends, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Family, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Insecurity, Kissing, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Non-Bipolar Ian Gallagher, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Strangers to Lovers, Swearing, Top Ian Gallagher, Top Mickey Milkovich, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Unrequited Love, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2018-12-03 23:26:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 26,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11542629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alicestarsoverthemoon00/pseuds/Alicestarsoverthemoon00
Summary: Ian is taking late night walks. One night he founds something. And suddenly he finds himself stalking the One and only Mickey Milkovich.But Mickey is straight, right?





	1. The find.

**Author's Note:**

> Okey, so this is my first fanfiction ever,  
> English is also not my native language, so please be kind.  
> (You are welcome to correct me)
> 
> It's set in one of the earlier seasons. 
> 
> I'm gonna try to update as often as possible.  
> And I will probably update already existing chapters if I see something I've misspelled.
> 
> (I don't own Shameless or any of the characters.)
> 
> I do appreciate comments and all kinds of feed back.
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy!  
> /Alice Star

Town was cold. But that wasn't surprising. It was almost midnight. In Chicago. In September.

He strolled down the streets, slowly. Hands in pockets, eyes on the ground.

He wasn't ready to go home for bed yet, even though he had been working for almost 10 hours.  
He needed some time alone, and he got it. The streets were eerily quiet and empty. He knew most people probably filled all the bars at this time.  
In 2-3 hours, at closing time, the streets would be full again.

He passed The Alibi, and he was right, the small bar was totally packed with shadows and loud shouting. He was just about to pass the entrance when someone almost came flying out through the door.  
He seemed to have tripped on the doormat and staggered side to side for a few steps until he finally fell towards Ian, who took a step aside, and let the man fall to the ground.  
He watched with amusement as the very drunk man, with great effort, crawled back up, brushing off dirt from his already dirty, sloppy jeans.

 

"The fuck you lookin´at?"

 

He growled and gave Ian a poisonous glare.  
Ian tried not to smile.

 

"Nothin´"

 

He answered and shifted his eyes to the side, showing he wasn't looking. The man muttered some swear words and began to stumble down the street. Ian watched him and hoped he wouldn´t fall over again. He then turned and were about to walk the other way when he noticed the scarf on the ground. He had probably dropped it when he tripped out. Ian picked it up and contemplated if he should run after the man or turn it in in the bar. Kev probably knew the guy.  
But before he had decided the man were out of sight and a pack of drunk people pushed themselves through the door, leaving Ian no possible way of getting in.

So instead he hung the scarf around his neck and walked on home. He could leave it to Kev tomorrow, he thought.

The house was dark except for the kitchen light shining through the window.  
Ian tried to open and close the door as quiet as possible, but apparently he hadn´t been too careful, 'cos Fiona jumped in her chair when he closed the door behind him.  
She sat with the computer in front of her and a beer beside her.

" Oh, fuck Ian! I thought you were asleep."  
She whispered.

Ian joined her leaving his jacket and scarf on.  
Fiona looked at the watch.

"You've been working this late?" She asked.

"Nah, I took a walk after my shift."

He reached for Fiona's beer and took a small sip. Fiona noticed the scarf and nodded towards it.

" You found that in a dumpster?"

Ian was fingering on the tassels, and in this warmer temperature he could feel its smell. Beer, smoke and sweat.

"Someone dropped it outside the Alibi when I passed. Thought I´d give it to Kev tomorrow."

Fiona scrunched her nose. 

"Smells like Frank."

She said while pushing back the chair with her thighs, closed the computer and while on the stairs she added:

"You free tomorrow?"

"Yep." Ian inhaled the words. 

This Monday Ian´s class had a field trip, it was optional and as he had been working so much lately he thought he had the right to take a day off.  
And the gym was closed on Mondays, for some reason, so no work that day, either.

"Good, then you´re picking up Liam after day care. I´m going on a job interview." 

It wasn't a question, it was an order.  
Ian nodded and Fiona quietly run upstairs. In the Gallagher house you had to learn how to run without a sound if you wanted some peace at night.

Ian sat at the table for a while, inhaling the scarfs smell.  
There was something he couldn't get enough of.  
Not the beer, smoke or sweat. Something very distinctive. He shook off his thoughts after while, hung his jacket and scarf on the hook beside the door and went to bed.  
He fell asleep pretty quickly to the sound of his brothers snoring.

 

"BREAKFAST!" 

Ian turned at the sound of Fiona's´ voice.  
But he didn't leave bed, he just wanted to go back to sleep.

Even though his eyes were closed he could feel his brothers fingers flicking in front of him.

"Oi! Breakfast."

"Fuck off, Lip." he moaned as he turned around, planting his face deep into his pillow.

"Late night, huh?" Lip said but didn't wait for an answer and Ian could hear his footsteps leaving the room.

When Ian finally crawled out of bed the house was quiet. He didn't bother putting on clean clothes. He just stepped into the sweats he wore yesterday.

He came down to the kitchen and to his surprise (or maybe not) saw Carl sitting at the counter gulping from a bowl with milk and cereals.

"Any coffee left?" Carl nodded, his mouth full. "Yo, why are you still here?" Ian realized it was almost lunch time.

"Sick." Carl said with his eyes in his bowl.  
Ian raised a brow and smirked.

"Which class are you avoiding today?" Carl met Ians´ glare, mirroring his smirk.

"Math."

Ian swallowed his coffee and put the cup in the sink, grabbed an apple from the fridge and were about to return upstairs when something hit him. He turned to Carl again.

"Hey, if you pick up Liam today I won't tell Fiona about skipping classes. Deal?"

Carl sighed but accepting the deal with a nod.  
Ian smiled. It was so easy manipulating his younger siblings sometimes. Now he had all day free. He could go back to the Alibi and leave the scarf to Kev, or even better return it to the man in person if he was there again today.  
He took a quick shower and put on something clean. He jumped down the stairs, ruffled Carl's hair before grabbing his jacket from the hook and slammed the door behind him.

The icy cold air filled his lungs as soon as he stepped outside. He shrugged and searched his jacket for his cigarettes. He lit one before stepping down the porch.  
When he entered the bar Kev grew a big smile.

"Hey, kid! No work today?" Ian shook his head.

He had gotten a job at a local gym a few months ago. It fitted him very well. Even though he spent most time of his shifts in the reception, or cleaning the locker rooms he had free access to the whole gym when he got off. He also didn't really mind the reception because from there he could drool over all the biceps and six packs growing bigger and stronger for every day.

"You want a beer?" Kev asked, but began tapping before Ian even got to answer.  
Ian reached in his pocket for some money.

"Nah, it's on me today. Not every day we get to see your face here." Kev smiled.

"Thanks!"

Suddenly the door busted open. Ian´s heart pounded, he really hoped it would be the scarf-man. But disappointment hit when he noticed it was Frank.

"Ian! My favorite son!" He yelled as soon as he saw Ian sitting in the bar.

"Go away Frank, you're not getting any money." Ian mumbled with his eyes in his beer.

Frank raised his arms. "Is that how you treat the man who raised you?" he seated himself a couple of chairs from Ian. Ian didn't answer, instead he took off the scarf and showed it to Kev.

"You don't happen to recognize this? Some drunk dropped it here, outside, yesterday."

Kev shook his head. "Nah, man, that could be anybody's´. A Lot of drunks dropping things here, ya know."

"Yeah, well he made a pretty noticeable exit. He pretty much flew out the door. Almost knocked me over as I passed. Around midnight? Right before a group of people also left?"

Kevin squeezed his eyes, clearly thinking real hard.

"Hm, how'd he look like?" he asked after a while.

"It was pretty dark, man... dark, messy hair? Baggy jeans, and..."

"Ah, that must be Mickey!" Kev cut off without hesitation. Ian´s eyes grew bigger.

"As in Milkovich?"  
Frank heard the notorious family's name and mumbled "Fucking Milkovich's."

"Yup" Kev snorted. "Another beer?"

"Ehm, s-sure." Ian stuttered. Still with big, surprised eyes.  
Kevin shook his head when Ian tried to pay him.

"Just give me a free day pass to the gym later." He smiled.  
Frank immediately raised his head.

"Well, well, well! So that underage kid, with all the money suddenly gets free beer, while this poor ol´man, who comes here every day, practically paying for your food, gets to dry out?" He raised his arms and looked up to the ceiling, almost yelling: "What have I done to deserve this kind of unfairness?"

"Shut up, Frank." Ian and Kev said in sync.

"Well then, maybe I just go and find another bar who treats this man with respect." he scoffed before staggering out.

"So you want me to hold on to that?" Kev asked, nodding at the scarf. "Mickey will probably be back as soon as Terry comes home."  
Ian thought for a while.

"Nah, I can drop it off on my way home." He downed his beer, pushed out his chair and waved goodbye.  
"Say hello to V from me, by the way!"

"Sure. See ya, kid!" Kev nodded and waved.

Ian stood on the other side of the road to the Milkovich's house. Maybe this was a bad idea. I mean, he had never really met Mickey. Even though he knew Mandy, Mickey´s sister, very well, as they had the same classes, Mickey never seemed to be home whenever Ian and Mandy were studying there. And he also knew that even his hard ass brother was afraid of Mickey.

But then he found himself taking a deep breath and crossing the road. Just as he were about to open the gate the front door opened and Mickey stepped out with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. He saw Ian standing still, like a statue, with his hand on the gate.

"Who the fuck are you?" He asked while lighting the cigarette. Ian cleared his throat.

"Ehm, Ian. Gallagher."

Mickey inhaled the smoke.  
"Another Gallagher, huh?" he scoffed. "How many are there now anyways? You multiply like every fucking second. What you want then? Spill it out fast, gotta be somewhere." He walked down the porch, approaching Ian.

"I think you dropped your scarf yesterday, outside the Alibi." whirling off the scarf and stretched out his arm for Mickey to take it.  
Mickey looked at him with a skeptical expression on his face. One brow raised.

"You stalkin’ me or something?"

A harsh "No." exited Ians mouth. "I passed the Alibi when you came falling out from there."

"I don't fall." Mickey said with a low voice, finishing off his cigarette and flipped it to the side with the help of his thumb and middle finger.  
Ian smiled at the sentence. Mickey clearly didn't remember anything.

"Well, I just thought you wanted it back. So here." Ian waved it in Mickey's face who quickly moved his head to the side so he wouldn't get the tassels in his eye. And then jerked it out of Ian´s hand.

"Wow, Gallagher. What did I do to deserve a personal delivery?"

Ian almost blushed and shrugged. "Kev thought it probably was yours and I was in the neighborhood anyway."

"Well, thanks then." Mickey slung the scarf around his neck and began walking. "See ya, Gallagher." He said without looking back at Ian.

Ian just stood there. Sort of dumbstruck.  
He had no idea what he had expected to get out from this sudden urge to return things to Mickey Milkovich in person.  
He knew about Mickey´s reputation, and it wasn't a good one. Mandy had updated him on his whereabouts and what doings a couple of times. She always described her brother as a selfish piece of shit who never did, or even tried, to fix up his life. Knocking down innocent people and robbing stores. She did however admit he was pretty protective of her and he never trusted the guys she brought back home.


	2. Late night stalker.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One week later.  
> Ian continues his late walks after work, and begins to question himself. Really, what the fuck is he doing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter gets you some insight in Ian's work life but there's also some word exchanges between Ian and Mickey.

One week later.

Ian sat behind the counter, glaring at a tall, blond man in his 20s, lifting, clearly very heavy weights.  
He´s slim. You couldn´t really predict him as a heavy weight lifter. He looked more like a runner to Ian.  
Ian´s vision of the guy in his bed, all naked and with Ian hovering above him, were suddenly interrupted by his co-worker Tina, slapping him on the back of his head.

"Hey! Stop it! You´re too young for that guy anyway."

Ian scoffs. "That´s what you think." He mumbles before he pushes out his chair.  
Tina is a very small woman, but she could probably lift Ian over her bare shoulder.  
If he remembers correctly she´s 25, divorced, with 3 kids. When she´s not at the gym, she works as a constructor.

She is the funniest person Ian knows, she is also the only one who knows he is gay. It was pretty hard keeping it a secret since they work the weekend shifts together and Ian, obviously, havn't been too discrete eyeing all the sweaty, hard working men on the floor.

"So stop drooling over their asses and get your own home and get som sleep." Tina smiles as she takes Ian's place at the counter.

"Alright, alright!" Ian says. "See you next week."  
He waves and leaves.

It's the fourth time this week he takes late walks down the southside's dark streets.  
He had been thinking a lot about the short encounter with Mickey last week. Mickey wasn't Ian's type, at all. And he had been, as he also had heard numours of times, pretty intimidating. But there were still something about him that Ian couldn't get out of his head. His smell, for starters. And then his voice, and oh, those pink, soft lips. Whenever Ian closed his eyes he could see them clenching round the cigarette, but he wished they were around something else. Him.

When he snapped out of his daydream he saw himself outside the Alibi. It was almost like he had been sleep walking there.  
He lit a cigarette and leaned against one of the walls, with the door in clear sight beside him. He really didn´t know what he was doing. Or yes, he did. He waited for Mickey to turn up, either enter or exit the bar. But then he could hear Mickey's voice inside his head. " You stalkin' me or something?"  
Oh, god. He was. He had no idea why. He wouldn´t get anything out of it. First of all, Mickey was as straight as a tooth pick. Mandy had told him about the time she heard him fucking one of her best friends, Sarah. And the times he had bragged about his scores to their brothers at the dining table.  
Second: A badass like that would probably never even wanna be friends with a guy like Ian. He chose his 'friends' very carefully, or they were more like partners in crime, he guessed.  
So why did Ian keep torturing himself hoping he would bump into Mickey, all the time? This was getting pathetic.  
He tossed the burned down cigarette, but didn't notice where it landed until he heard a loud "What the fuck?"  
He knew that voice. Mickey. Oh, god.

"What the fuck do you think you´re doin'? Trying to set people on fire, are we?" Mickey began walking faster towards Ian.  
Ian took a step forward, so the street lamp could light up his face. Mickey stopped on the curb, and threw his own cigarette butt to the side before he eyed Ian.

"If it isn't Gallagher."

Ian blushed. But was relieved when he heard that Mickey's voice had gone softer.

"Shit! I'm sorry. Didn't see you." Ian said.

To his surprise Mickey gave him a small smirk.  
"It's alright, man."

Ian were about to turn and walk away. He couldn't start a conversation after that awkward moment.  
But then he heard Mickey.

"Hey, you wanna buy me a beer?"

Ian froze. "What?"

"Buy me a beer and I may forgive you."

Ian looked around. Was this a joke? But Mickey actually seemed pretty serious.

"Ehm, sure." And he followed Mickey in to the bar.

When they entered together Kev's jaw dropped. But he managed to ask what they wanted to drink.

"Ginger over here owes me a beer." Mickey answered, not looking at Ian. And he sat himself down at the end of the bar, not even near Ian.

"Alright." Kev said, looked at Ian as in "Is he serious?" Ian gave him a small nod and handed Kevin some money, enough for two beers.

That was it. Ian thought. Mickey were that selfish little piece of shit. Only wanted Ian's money, just like Frank.

The silence was unbearable to Ian. Much so that he drank his beer in one fast gulp and then just left the bar. Not even saying goodbye to either Mickey or Kev.  
He put his hands in his pockets when he got outside and let out a big sigh. The door slammed open, hitting Ian in his back. Out came Mickey.

"Hey, why'd you leave?" Mickey asked.

Ian was a bit stunned. But a bit of irritation grew inside of him. Here he thought Mickey had turned all nice, then totally ignoring him in the bar and now he wondered why he left?

"Why not? Nothing happens in there and I'm tired. Why d'you care? You got your beer." Ian were surprised over his sudden braveness, showing Mickey clearly how unimpressed he was.

Mickey licked his lips and looked around. "Well, you didn't think I just wanted the fucking beer, did you? Then I would have punched you down right here on the fucking pavement and taken all of your fucking money and left you with a big fat broken nose." He raised his fist against Ian who took a step back.

"So, what? You really wanted my company? You want me to believe that fucking shit?" Ian asked with a strong, harsh voice.

"Fuck off, Gallagher." Mickey went back inside the bar.

Ian went home. He was relieved Mickey didn't punch him down. And surprised. And annoyed.  
Lip and Debbie sat in the living room watching some cartoons. Ian slammed the door and didn't care about them. Lip noticed his irritation and followed him upstairs.

"What the fuck's wrong with you?" He picked up a joint from the desk drawer and passed it to Ian.

"Nothing." he mumbled and fell on to the bed with his back against the wall.

"I'm not stupid, Ian." Lip tilted his head.

"I said it's nothing!"

Lip grumbled. "Seriously? I'm your brother! Spill it, asshole." He joined Ian on the bed and grabbed the joint from Ian's hand.

Ian sighed and stayed quiet for a while. But then he took a deep breath and met Lip's eyes.  
"There's a girl, okay?"

Lip smirked. "Really! And you couldn't tell me that because...?"

"It's complicated." Ian said and moved his eyes to the floor. "She doesn't know yet, and I'm afraid to tell her. Her family is a bit..."

Lip stared at Ian for a while then something went up for him. His mouth opened wide.  
"Oh. my. Fucking. God!" Lip almost yelled, but stopped himself when he remembered his brothers were sleeping in the same room and he lowered his voice. "It's Mandy? Isn't it?"

Ian frowned. "No, it's not fucking Mandy!"

Lip rolled his eyes. "Tell me then. Who is it? You can trust me."

Ian yawned, clearly a fake yawn. "Not tonight. I need some sleep."

Lip stared at him and raised his brows. But he let it go for now and went back to his own bed.


	3. Who's that girl?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lip confronts his brother about the "girl".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary explains this chapter pretty well.
> 
> (Next chapter will turn up the heat.)
> 
> -I really appreciates comments and feed back.-

Monday. And school. Ian met Mandy outside who jumped up and hugged him hard. They havn't met in almost a week. Ian had missed her. Apparently she had missed him too.

"Hey, you! What've you been up to lately?" She asked.

"Just work and shit, ya know."

"Oh, yeah? Lip told me there's a girl?" She nudged him with her hip in his side.

"What the fuck? He promised he would keep his fucking mouth shut!" Ian shouted and picked up his pace.

Mandy ran after him. "Hey, I'm sorry! I didn't mean... I mean, you can trust me. Cross my heart." She said and put a hand on the left side of her chest.  
Ian gritted his teeth, slowed down, but didn't say anything.

"You wanna study at my place today?" Mandy asked. "Or we could just watch something?"

"Sure." Ian answered with a low tone in his voice.

English class. Ian didn't pay much attention at all. He couldn't get Mickey out of his head. Would he be home when Ian and Mandy got there? He didn't know if he would be excited or extremely uncomfortable if he was.

The bell rang and everybody hurried out. Ian were still in his thought so he didn't rush.

"Come on, slow poke!" He heard Mandy call from the door. She noticed he were distant so she nudged him awake. "Thinking about her?" She smiled.

Ian frowned and met her eyes. "You promised not to talk. That also means no fucking questions about it!"

"Alright, alright. Sorry. Didn't know it was that big of a deal."

They arrived at the Milkoviches. At the same time as Mickey.  
Shit.

"What are you doing home, shit face?" Mandy gnarled at her brother.

"Fuck you." Mickey said. Then noticed Ian. "Who's this?"

Mandy looked at Ian then at her brother again. "This is Ian, we're study buddies. Why do you care?"

"Don't" Mickey answered and ran up the stairs before them and slammed the door in their faces.

"I told you he's a jerk." Mandy whispered to Ian who nodded and swallowed hard.

They didn't study that much really. Mostly played video games and drank some beer.  
Mickey were in his room. You could smell the weed coming from there.  
Ian didn't know what he should do. He wanted to talk to Mickey, but as far as Mandy knew they had never met and just walking in there to talk to her ass hole brother would seem suspicious.  
But he decided it was worth it. He needed to.

"Mandy. Do you think we could get some weed from your brother?"

She laughed. "The hell he would share. But if you wanna try, go ahead. At your own risk."

Ian smiled. That was easy. He stood up and walked to Mickey's room. Two knocks.

"What?!" Mickey yelled from inside.

Ian swallowed. "Ehm, Mandy and I just want to ask you something. Can I come in?"  
It went quiet but then a small "yes" reached Ian's ears and he entered, but only after looking at Mandy first, who rolled her eyes.

Ian walked in and closed the door behind him.  
"Hey." He said quietly.

Mickey sat on his bed, with his back against the wall, an arm behind his head and a joint in his other. He didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry..." Ian began, fidgeting with the zipper on his sweat shirt.

"Yeah, you should be." He raised both eye brows.

"But you just sat there, with the beer. It felt like you were ignoring me."  
Ian walked towards the bed. Mickey blew out some smoke then held out the joint for Ian to take it. He sat down beside Mickey.

"You never gave me a chance to say anything or whatever. You just ran out of there." Mickey said.

They looked at each other. Then laughed. When the laughter died Ian moved a bit closer. He wanted to touch Mickey but knew that would be a bit too hasty. So he just sat there, took another inhale from the joint then passed it back to Mickey. Their fingers met and Ian shivered at that small, small touch.

"Hey! Ian! I need you in the game!" Mandy yelled from the living room. Ian took a last glance at Mickey before he stood up and walked out to Mandy.  
He had a small smile on his face. Even though the weed probably did some of the work, he and Mickey had actually talked and laughed together. Just for a couple of minutes, but it was enough for Ian to think that maybe, maybe they could get to know each other better. Soon.

Mandy and Ian are having a study session again, the next day. Where they promised themselfs they actually would try to study, not play games. But that's interrupted when Mickey comes home.

"I'm just..." Ian looks at Mandy and points his thumb to Mickey's room.

"No, Ian! How are we supposed to study when you're high with my ass hole of a brother?" Mandy sighs.

"It's alright Mands, I'll manage. Be right back." He smiles as he knocks at the door.

Mickey yells a "Yeah" and Ian enters.

"Hey, d'you have some smoking left?" Ian asks carefully. Mickey nods, scoops over so Ian can sit beside him on the bed.  
They're smoking in silence. Just staring out in the air. But Ian can't handle it for much longer. He stretches out his arm and carefully strokes Mickey's hair, slow and soft.  
Of course, Mickey pulls away as fast as possible and gives Ian that poisonous look he gave him the first time they met. "The fuck do you think you're doing?"  
Silence. Then Mickey raises his hand and Ian closes his eyes and he's so prepared for the hit. But instead he feel the hand grabbing his cheek, he opens his eyes and sees Mickey leaning in closer until Ian can feel his breath against his ear. And a soft whisper exits Mickeys mouth.

"If you ever, ever, do that again, I will fucking kill you!" He points at the door. "Out." Ian complies and hurries out.  
He doesn't stop he's taking fast steps towards the front door and leaves before he can hear Mandy finish her sentence. "Ian, where are you goi..."  
Ian just slams the door and begins to run, but he can't run that far, breathing in the freezing cold air gives him a head ache.

When he gets home he goes straight to bed.  
Lip's is lying on his own bed, reading, but he can both see and feel Ian's anger as he storms in.

"The girl?" Lip asks and slips down from his bed and joins Ian who sits with his face in his hands. And Ian knows that by this stage he can't avoid his brothers questions for much longer, so he nods.  
Lip puts a hand on his shoulder and says, softly, "Did you tell her how you feel?" Ian wipes his teary eyes with his palms and with a big lump in his throat he answers.

"Sort of..."

Lip gets exited. "Tell me! Maybe I can talk to her or whatever..."

Ian twists his head to his brother. "No, you can't! I told you it's complicated. Or it's more than complicated. It's just never gonna happen. He hates m..." He quickly shuts his mouth. Then tries to correct his mistake, but it's too late. Lip's jaw drops and his brows raises to a supernatural height.

"Sorry? Did you just said 'He'?" Ian just looks at him. "Shit." Lip continues. "You're fucking gay?" Ian hushes his brother and stares right in his eyes, he sounds like he's threatening his brother.

"Yeah, so come on. Mock me. Make all of your fucking gay jokes, I don't care. As long as you don't tell anyone. If you do? I will cut off your fucking cock while you are sleeping."

Lip actually seems threatened for a while but then he pats Ian's shoulder. "It's alright, man. I won't tell anyone. Promise."  
Ian believes him and relaxes, leaning back against the wall. He then points at a pack of cigarettes on the desk. Lip takes one and hands the packet to Ian.

"So, you're gonna tell me about him, then?" Lip asks while lightening the cigarette.  
Ian shakes his head.

"Can't. First of all I don't think he's gay, second, he will kill me if I even mentions his name."

"Do I know him?" Ian shakes his head again. Lip's beginning to get on his nerves.

"Someone at school?"  
Ian shakes his head again. There's silence for a couple of seconds. Then:

"Someone at the gym?"  
Ian thinks for a while. Well, Mickey is fit. He probably goes to a gym, only not to Ians', so technically he won't be lying.

"Yeah." He says.

"So you're like hanging out afterwards?" Lip asks and Ian feel confused.

"No. Not hanging out. We barely talk to each other. Just having a smoke together once in a while."

"But..." Lip begins. "But how do you know his family is fucked up?"  
Crap. Ian didn't think of that. That he actually had mentioned that. How's he gonna save this?

"I lied, I mean, you wouldn't have stopped with your god damn questions if i didn't say something." He holds his breath. But Lip seems to buy it straight off.

"Fair enough." He says. Ian continues. "so, like I said, he seem to hate me. Even though we havn't socialized very much there's something about him. Can't get him out of my mind." His lips shakes nervously. "But I have no idea how to carry on, how to not scare him away." Lip stands up and pats his shoulder one last time.

"You'll think of something, man." He smiled.

"And you'll shut up about this, asshole! Nothing! Not even to Mandy!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry for talking to her. Really am. But I just wanted to know if it was her. I kinda like her, ya know." Lip says and blushes.  
Ian smirks.

"A Gallagher and a Milkovich? Good fucking luck with that, Lip." He chuckles and Lip let's out a short laugh.

"Yeah, I know. Stupid, huh?" He goes back to his bed and leaves Ian thoughtful. Yeah, it really was stupid.


	4. Vivid dreams.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's getting hot in here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will update this chapter tomorrow, since it's 2 am over here I need some sleep.  
> But I really wanted to give you a little of the hot stuff right now.  
> But come back tomorrow for even more. :)

Gym was packed this saturday. But just an hour left on his shift. He stretches his arms above his head and yawns. And then almost falls off his chair when he sees who approches the reception.  
”Mickey?” He tries not to sound too surprised.

”In the flesh, Gallagher.” A small smirk. Oh, how Ian wants to touch, smell, taste that pale flesh. 

”Need a locker.” Mickey says and slams his hands against the counter.  
Ian reaches for a key to a free one.

”Never seen you here.” Again he tries not to sound too surprised. Anyone can visit a gym.  
Mickey takes the key from Ian's hand. Slowly. His hand brushes against Ians.

”Yeah, well, Mandy recommended this shithole. Thought I'd check it out.” But the only thing he seemed to check out was Ian. Ian swallowed. ”Well, see ya. Gonna change.” 

Mickey walks towards the locker rooms but half way he turns his head and looks at Ian over his shoulder and licks his lips.  
Ian is totally shocked. Did Mickey actually flirt with him? He stares as Mickey continues down the hall. The broad shoulders, strong arms, perfect butt. The way he walks with his whole body. Ian shivers. He can't take it. He needs that body in his hands.  
He eyes the gym and catches Tina standing by the treadmills. And he shouts at her.

”Tina! Can I take a break?”

She points at the big clock on the wall behind her. ”Your shift ends in like 30 minutes.”  
Ian stands up and does the 'I'm peeing my pants'-dance. He can see Tina sighs and then nods.  
He hurries down the hall, jumping down the stairs.  
The first thing he sees when he enters the locker rooms is Mickeys naked back. He hesitates but then approaches him, confident. Mickey doesn't notice him until Ian grabs his shoulder hard and turns him around, facing him.

”What the fuc..” Mickey tries to pull himself out of Ians grip, but Ian puts a steady hand on his hips and holds him tight. ”Gallagher? What are you doin?” Ian steps closer. 

He never really realized the difference in height between them. But it helped his confidence, he felt somewhat powerful. He takes a deep breath and the air coming from his nose blows back some strands of hair from Mickeys forehead.

”Are you flirting with me?” He asks. Mickey frowns and steps back, Ian lets him.

”Why the fuck would I? I'm not ga...” Before he can finish his sentence Ian got his chin in his hands and presses his lips against Mickeys'. A brief but hard kiss. But he gets two strong hands on his chest, pushing him back. Quiet. They just stare at each other. The corner of Ians lips raises. And suddenly Mickey's reaching for his neck pulling his head down and their lips comes together again. Nothing brief about this one, it's wet and deep.  
Ian presses Mickey hard against the lockers with his hands on those strong biceps. Then they travels down to Mickeys hips, then his thighs and finally to his crotch. Mickey is actually hard there, under his sweat pants. They moan into each others mouths at the same time. But Mickey then breaks the kiss, frees himself from Ians grip and step aside.  
"Okay, okay. I don't know what the fuck you think you're doing, but you need to back the fuck off." He says while holding up his hands in front of him so Ian can't come any closer.  
"I'm not fucking gay!"

Ian laughs and nods at Mickeys crotch.  
"Yeah? That thing told another story."  
"Fuck off, ginger." Mickey growls, but Ian stays put.  
He turns his head when he hears a knock on the door and a loud "Hey, you awake?"  
At first it sounds like Tina, but the second time he hears the same sentence he understands it's Fiona yelling, he open his eyes and realizes he's not at the gym but in his bed.  
Of course it was a dream, it was too good to be true.  
Fiona stands in the door way and watches as Ian crawls out of bed.  
"Jesus. Hot dream?" She smiles with her eyes at Ians boxers. He looks down and notices the sticky liquid between his legs. Damn it.  
He presses himself through the door and rushes in to the bathroom, pulls off his boxers and tank and steps in the shower.

He thinks about that dream while the hot water is pouring down his back. It was so vivid. But something like that will never happen. Mickey's straight and sort of an asshole. He closes his eyes and sees that hot body. Even though he never seen Mickeys' naked body in real life, his made up vision of it makes Ian hard. But he strains himself and doesn't jerk off or even touch himself. He just brushes back his hair under the water and then jumps out the tub and return to his room. He dries and dresses himself and joins his siblings in the kitchen.

”I got a job!” Fiona says exited.

”Yeah? At another shitty bar where you'll get harassed again?” Lip asks unimpressed.

”No, at a supermarket. Actually.”

The whole family congratulates her. Except Ian who is totally stuck in his own thoughts. Lip looks at him, stares.

”What?” Ian snaps at him when he feel his eyes on him.

”I need to talk to you.” Lip says and pushes out his chair. He steps outside and makes sure Ian is following him. They sit on the porch sharing a beer Ian brought with him.

”So?” Ian asks.

”So? You need to chill the fuck down. That guy is really getting to your head, huh?”

”Well, yeah...” 

”So you have to do something about it, cos you're starting to act really, really weird.”

”I know” Ian snaps again at his brother. Then repeats ”I know” in a much softer voice.

Lip's right. He needs do something about this pathetic obsession. And just like a lightning from clear blue sky Mickey walks in to the yard.

”Hey, Gallagher, I need to talk to you.” He says while walking towards them. Lip walks down the porch.

”What do you want me, Milkovich?”

Mickey doesn't look at him, but at Ian and points. ”No, that one.” Lip turns to Ian and look surprised.

”This about Mandy?” Ian asks.  
That shouldn't make Lip too suspicious. Mickey nods.

”Eh, yeah. Exactly.” He waves at Ian. ”Come on. Let's go somewhere else.”

Ians heart beats faster. He knows this isn't about Mandy. It's about what happened yesterday. Ian stroking his hair.  
Mickeys short legs is walking fast towards the bridge. He stops under it where they can't be seen from the street. He inhales smoke from his cigarette.  
Ian stands a couple of feet away with his hands in his pockets. Heart still beating hard, feels like he's been running.

”S-so what do you wanna talk about?” He stutters.

”You know what this is about, Gallagher.” Mickey steps closer to Ian.

”I am sorry. I just...” 

”Shut up.” Mickey says and takes one more step closer. ”I told you, I will kill you if you ever do that again.”

”I won't do it again!” Ian assure him. ”I was high and shit. I'm sorry. Can we drop it? I'm not gonna try anything, I won't even talk to you. It's not worth it and besides, I can probably get who ever I want at the gym.” He passes Mickey, but feels a hand on his arm, stopping him.

”I did say I will kill you if you tried anything.” He steps closer to Ian and looks around to make sure, once more, that no one can see them.  
Ians mouth opens wide. He's not sure what Mickey means by that.  
”So, fire crotch.” He shifts his weight on his feet and cracks his knuckles. Ian's gonna get a fist in his face, he's sure of it. But instead he gets a hand groping his groin. He looks down , his eyes widenes and then meet Mickeys'.

”You like that?” Mickey asks and brushes his tounge against his teeth. ”Huh?”  
Ian can't really speak. But he understands what's going on here and he gets annoyed thinking about that. He grasps Mickey's wrist and throws it away.

”No, I don't like it. You're just teasing, mocking me. You're a homophobic fucking asshole. And I told you I won't bother you again.” He's about to walk away again but Mickey stops him once more.

”Hey, wait.” Mickey starts. ”You call this homophobic?” Ian gets lips pressed against his and his knees begins to tremble.  
A hasty kiss. After they part Ian have no idea what to do. 

”What was that?” Ian finally gets out.  
Mickey shrugs. 

”Dunno, A kiss I guess.” he says, eyes on his feet.

Ian scoffs. ”Well, yeah, I could feel that, but I mean, why?”

Another shrug from Mickeys side.  
”Call it whatever.”

”So you didn't mean anything with it?” Ian is very eager to hear Mickeys' answer to that question.

”Just to show you I'm not fucking homophobic, okay? So don't make it some big fucking deal. And if you tell anyone I will kill you, with a rusty knife.”  
Ian nods.

Even though they don't face each other anymore they're still standing pretty close. Close enough for Ian to make a second move. He plants a kiss on Mickeys half-open lips. And to his surprise Mickey takes him by his waist and pulls him closer, hard. Ian keeps his arms hanging, not touching Mickey in fear of scaring him away again. He lets Mickey lead, and he leads all right. His hands moving Ians' hips, slowly, side to side, while their lips move to the same rythm. It's like a tacky belly dancing session, but Ian's not complaining. And he can feel a twitch in his pants. He's getting hard.  
He wonders if he should break it off, but instead he just throw his arms around Mickeys shoulders and takes a step back, Mickey's shoulders is the only thing holding him up, so he won't feel Ians' hard-on. But Mickey can see there's something going on and he pulls away. Ian manages to save himself from falling forward.

”Alright.” Mickey begins. ”That's enough. I can't do this.” The L's passing by over them so Ian almost can't hear. But he gets' it. It's over. Mickey just walks away and leaves Ian with sore, but smiling, lips. 

Lip confronts him as soon as he gets home.  
”What's with Mandy? Is she alright?”

Ian falls down on the couch and turns on the TV.  
”Yeah, she's alright.”  
Lip's quiet for a while and joins his brother.

”Then what was is about? I mean, I thought you didn't know Mickey? And you better watch out, he will kick your ass if he thinks you're into his sister.”

”I said it's alright. He just needed some info on a guy from our class she's seeing.” Ian lies. ”And actually we met a couple of days ago, when I were there studying with Mands.”

Again Lip is quiet for a couple of seconds than change his position on the sofa so he's leaning his elbow on the arm rest and puts his hand over his mouth.

”Oh, shit...” he mumbles.

”What?” Ian asks with his eyes on the TV.

”Really?” Lip says, still with his hand on his mouth.

Ian shifts his eyes to look at his brother, confused.  
”What?”

”Mickey's the fucking guy you're so obsessed with!”

Ian frowns. ”What? Absolutely fucking not!” 

Lip raises from the couch and stands in front the TV so Ian can't see. ”Come on, Ian!”  
Ian also stands up and looks deep into Lips' eyes. 

”You think I would fall for that homophobic, bat-shit crazy south side trash?”  
Lip laughs, turns away but he falls down as Ian kicks him on the leg.

”What the fuck, Ian?”

”Stop your fucking interrogations. I'm not questioning you about your private life, right?” 

Lip rolls over on to his back so he can see Ian's annoyance on his face.

”But really? Mickey?” He's not giving up.

”Shut the fuck up!” Ian mumbles and leaves the room.


	5. The questioning game.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian tries to get to know Mickey better by asking Mandy about his life. But he has to be careful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is a pretty short chapter, fyi.

Mandy and Ian are eating their lunches on the floor between two class room doors. They don't care about the dirty floor or the teachers asking why they're not eating in the dining hall.  
Mandy is a pretty sloppy eater, big bites and hardly chews. Ian on the other hand just picks on his sandwich. Peeling off some crust and mushes it between his fingers and throws some of the pieces as far as he can. He's not really hungry.

”Hey, are you seeing someone?” He asks Mandy who swallows her bite and puts on a big grin.

”Ian? Are you asking me out?” She nudges him with her shoulder.

A fast ”No!” escapes Ian's lips. He realizes how wrong that sounded. ”No, I mean, you're beautiful and everything, but it's my brother who's asking. Lip.”

”Oh!” Ian didn't expect she would sound so surprised. Lip's pretty obvious when the three of them are hanging out together, always teasing Mandy in a childish kind of way.

”So, what d'you think?”

”Well...” Mandy starts softly. ”He is pretty sexy, actually. And smart and stuff...”  
Ian winces when she describes his brother as sexy.  
”Yeah, okay then...sure. Hook us up.” She smiles and walks towards her locker. Ian follows like a baby duck follows it's mother.

”What about your brother?” He asks, nervously.

”Which one?” Mandy struggles with her locker. ”Damn, this shitty thing!” She kicks it twice and it finally opens.  
Ian continues. 

”Ehm, Mickey.”

”What about him?” 

”Is he seeing someone?” He tries to sound as nonchalant as possible while Mandy hands him her books for English class.

Mandy tilts her head back and lets out a huge laugh.  
”Mickey? Ha! Never. He's never 'seen' anyone. Just fucks. Havn't I already told you that?” Ian nods.  
”Why do you care anyway?” She adds.

”Just interested.” He's sincere. He's very interested to know if and who.

”When did you get so interested in my brothers life?” She squints at him. Clearly very curious.

Ian shrugs. ”Forget it.”

Mandy stops. ”No, come on, tell me?"

"I just wanna get to know him."

"I'm sorry, Ian, but I don't think getting high together once in a while counts as a friendship. Not to Mickey anyway." She chuckles and continues in to the class room.

Ian's relieved she didn't suspect anything else is going on between him and Mickey.  
She is right though, there's no friendship between them. Not yet at least.

After class Ian asks Mandy if she wants to watch a movie at her house. He says he can call Lip over if she wants to. She agrees and Ian borrows her phone to call him.

The three of them meet up outside the Milkoviches, Smoke their cigarettes and then enters just to throw themselfs on the couch. Lip pushes Ian to the end of it so he can sit between, close to Mandy.  
They start off with some shitty high school horror movie. Silence between them at first, but then Ian pokes Mandy behind Lip's shoulder.

"Hey, where's your dad, by the way?"  
Mandy munches on some popcorn.

"In jail. He beat up your dad. Thought you knew." 

Neither Ian or Lip are surprised. There's always someone Frank are able to piss off.

"And your brothers?" He too puts some popcorn in his mouth.

"What's with all the fucking questions, Ian?" She sounds pretty annoyed. And Lip joins her.

"Yeah, Ian, what's with all the fucking questions?" But he sounds more amused than anything.

Ian grits his teeth and shuts up.

Mandy yawns as the film ends. "Well that was crap." Lip agrees by nodding. Ian just sits with his chin resting in his hand.  
Lip and Mandy's been teasing and tickling each other the whole movie, and Mandy now has her legs crossed over Lips so her feet pushes against Ians legs when she stretches out during her yawning.

Ian is not amused. But suddenly the front door slams open and three brothers comes in with three big cases of beer and Jack Daniels.  
Mandy twists her head over the armrest to look at her brothers.

"Oh, shit. Which store did you rob now?" She sighs.  
Mickey takes a sip from his open beer and burps.

"None of your business." They put down the cases on the kitchen table. Mickey looks at Ian. Lip notices and throws a glare at them both. Mandy is busy helping herself to some beers.

"Hey guys, another movie?" Mandy shouts from the kitchen.

"Not me, you're probably gonna watch some high school crappy shit." Mickey says.

"Didn't ask you, ass face." Mandy gives her brother a slap on the shoulder and then joins the Gallagher brothers on the couch. But Ian stands up at the same time she sits down.

"Bathroom, be right back. You can choose movie." He waits for them to get busy with the movie-choosing and then slips into Mickeys' room.


	6. Eating out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”We're not hanging out. I'm just buying weed from him.”
> 
> ”Yeah? And pays with what?” Lip asks with his eyes on Ian, brows raised.
> 
> Ian gives him a small kick under the table.  
> Mickey suddenly looks up.
> 
> ”With his ass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know, latest chapters been pretty short, but they're more intense.

He leans against the door after closing it behind him. Mickey's on his bed as usual.

”Hey.” Ian begins, softly.

Mickey throws a beer at him. ”Catch.” he says while the can is in the air. Ian do catch it. The pops it open where he stands, by the door, and takes a gulp. Apparently a too big gulp. He begins couching. Mickey chuckles. ”Nice one, freckle face.”  
Ian is starting to like the small nick names Mickey gives him every time.

”Can I sit?” He asks as soon as his coughing has stopped.

Mickey scoops over, leaving room for Ian on the bed. But Ian places himself as far away from Mickey as possible. He almost slips off the edge. Mickey watches.

”Hey, you wanna fall down? Come here.” Mickey grabs his sweat shirt and pulls him closer. Ian follows and when he's in the middle of the bed Mickey let go of his shirt and returns both his hands round his beer can.  
They can hear the muffled sound of a movie and Mandy and Lip who's laughing in the living room. The other Milkovich brothers are probably getting drunk and playing cards in the kitchen.

”Why did you run? When we were under the bridge, I mean?” Ian asks and makes himself more comfortable on the bed by leaning back and resting his body on his elbows. Mickey's still sitting on the edge. He downs the rest of his beer and throws the can in the trash can beside him. He then turns to Ian, leans forward and puts a hand on each side of Ian's body, so his upper body is hovering above Ians. Ian straightens his arms so he falls down on his back. Mickeys' blue eyes are glued to his. Ian just want to pull Mickey down and eat him whole, but Mickey's already back, sitting up, staring down at his own feet, another beer in his hands.  
Ian still havn't gotten his answer and he repeats the question.

”Why'd you run?”

Mickey slowly shakes his head.  
Ian pulls himself up and moves close to a very insecure Mickey. He puts a hand on Mickeys shoulder blade and lets it run down the back, stopping where the shirt ends and the jeans waistline begins. He holds it there for a while but then sneaks it in under the grey t-shirt and slowly drags it over Mickey's bare back, feeling the soft skin on his fingers. Mickey just sits there, letting Ian touch him so carefully. Ian hesitates but then puts the other hand on Mickeys thigh and pulling slightly on the t-shirt. Mickey complies and he raises his arms, showing it's okay for Ian to drag it off. He turns and stares at Ian as soon as the shirt is on the floor.

”Why did you leave me there?” Ian asks a third time while he narrows down the space between his face and Mickeys' neck, still stroking his back. In the corner of the eye he can see Mickeys eyes now are closed and that he's about to open his mouth to answer but instead pushes Ian down on the bed and once again puts a hand on each side of Ian's body. They meet in a deep kiss. Mickey lays down so they're chest to chest and now Ian stops being careful and slow. He grabs Mickeys ass and breathes into his mouth. Mickey puts Ians very red hair in his hands and pulls slightly.  
Their tounges are searching each other. Ian rolls Mickey over, sits up and pulls off his own shirts in one quick movement. 

”You okay?” He asks.  
Mickey nods.  
Ian smiles, gets down on his knees and begins to open the buckle on Mickeys jeans. Mickey doesn't move. When the belt is off Ian begins to knead around Mickeys groin. He can hear a small moan and see Mickey biting his lip. He helps Ian by dragging down his own jeans and boxers at the same time.  
Ian loves the sight of Mickeys, already, hard cock. He grabs it and drags down the shaft, just once. He's about to lick it when it knocks on the door.

”Piss heads! What are you doing? We're bored!” Mandy. Of course. Mickey panics, kicks Ian away from him and quickly gets into his jeans again, then his shirt. 

”Hurry!” He wheezes at Ian who grabs both his shirts and pulls them over his head, but Mandy's already inside when the shirt only is half way down.

”What the fuck are you doing?” She asks with a frown on her face. Lip's standing right behind her.

”It's fucking hot in here.” Ian says. ” Just gonna take off my hoodie.”

Mickey notices his belt on the floor and pushes it under the bed with his foot. Thank god for carpets.

”Yeah, it is hot in here.” Mandy agrees. ”So. Bored. Hungry. Come on. Food.” She says, jumping and looks at the boys.

”Yeah, I'm fucking starving.” Mickey pushes back Mandy so he can leave the room.

Lip and Mandy are staring at Ian.

”Yeah, sure, I'll come.” Ian follows them out.

Fiona didn't get the job at the supermarket, but had the luck to find a free spot at a small café, only one station with the L.

The four teenagers hope they can get free pie or something.

Lip and Mandy are fast to take a booth and sits beside each other. Ian jumps in on the other leather couch-thingy on the other side of the table, followed by Mickey.

They all spot Fiona approaching their booth.  
”What are you guys doing here?”

Mickey looks at her like she's the most stupid person in the room.  
”We're hungry?” He says.

Fiona rolls her eyes. ”Yes Mickey, I could have guessed that, but why this crappy place?”

”We were hoping to get some free pie, maybe?” Lip asks, his arm around Mandys shoulders.

Fiona eyes them. Ian can understand her freaked out look. Two Gallaghers and two Milkoviches together, going out eating? Ian couldn't have imagined it either a couple of weeks ago.

Fiona leaves and returns with a mushy cherry pie. ”Best before yesterday. You're welcome.” And she goes back to her spot behind the counter.

They eat in silence until Lip opens his stupid mouth. ”So, when did you two began hanging out? Weird fucking sight.” He asks Ian and Mickey.  
Mickey just keeps stuffing his mouth full of pie. Lets Ian answer.

”We're not hanging out. I'm just buying weed from him.”

”Yeah? And pays with what?” Lip asks with his eyes on Ian, brows raised.

Ian gives him a small kick under the table.  
Mickey suddenly looks up.

”With his ass.” Everyone stares at him. ”Hey, I was being sarcastic! No chance in hell I would want to fuck that thing.” He points his fork toward Ian.  
Mandy laughs. Lip, not so much. Ian tries to get out a somewhat natural laugh.

When they leaves the café, Lip drags Ian to the side.

”I'm not fucking stupid, Ian. Something's going on.” He both seem worried and curious.

”What d'you mean?” Ian asks, tries to pull back his arm from Lip's grip.

”You and Mickey, of course.” 

”I have no idea what you're talking about.” Ian hurries to catch up with Mandy and Mickey half-fast walking.  
No problem with his long legs.


	7. Unfinished businesses.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”Just checking in, ya know.” He begins.  
> Looks around to make sure no one can hear him then whispers ”I miss you...”  
> Once again silence. A long silence, so long Ian is sure Mickey has hung up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot is happening in this chapter. There's some disagreements, but also some hot stuff going on.

Day's went by. Mandy's making herself more and more comfortable in the Gallagher house. Ian is happy for them, they do match, but at the same time he's tired seeing them snuggle and being all coupley. Guess he's a little jealous. He kinda wanted something like that too, with Mickey.  
Was he actually falling for South side's dirtiest most notorious boy? Nah, he can't. It's just sexual attraction he says to himself. Over and over again. They don't even know each other.  
They havn't talked or seen each other since the very hot afternoon at Mickey's place that unfortunately was interrupted by fucking Mandy.

Ian don't have the courage to call or visit. Lip was still suspicious. If he stays away from Mickey for a while maybe the suspiciousness would fade. But after a week Ian is tired of watching out the guys at the gym, jerking off in the shower while thinking of Mickey's body and his hard cock. He wanted it again.

A Tuesday at school Ian asks Mandy to borrow her phone with the explanation he needs to call Debbie and ask her to take Liam tonight. He do call her, only after looking through the contact list in an attempt to find Mickey's number. He guess the name ”crap head” could be Mickey. While Mandy's picking out her books from the locker Ian takes the chance to write down the number on his arm.

”So she could babysit?” Mandy asks.

”What?”

”Debbie? She could take Liam instead of you?”

”Oh, yeah. She could.”

Mandy looks excited. ”Good. Study date?”

Ian's not sure. If they're at his place she would probably be all over Lip. And if they went to her place, Mickey might be there.

”Sorry Mands. Extra pass at the gym.”  
She sighs and leaves him by the lockers.

Ian doesn't go to the gym, and he's not going home. He goes to the Alibi.

”Hello, you!” V greets him. ”What d'you want?”

”A beer, thanks. Also... can I use the phone?”

”Sure, sweetie. Fiona got your cell?”  
Ian nods while he's dialing the number written down on his arm. His heart is beating hard. What if it's the wrong number? What if Mickey doesn't answer? Or don't wanna talk?  
But when he hears the familiar voice, he breathes out.

”What?”

Ian fingers on his beer glass. ”Hey” His voice is shaky. ”It's Ian.”

Silence, then a low ”What do you want?”

”Just checking in, ya know.” He begins. Looks around to make sure no one can hear him then whispers ”I miss you...” Once again silence. A long silence, so long Ian is sure Mickey has hung up.

”You there?” He asks.

A harsh whisper ”Say that again I'll rip your fucking tongue out.”  
Ian smiles, even though he knows the threat is for real.  
”Where are you?” Mickey suddenly asks.

”The Alibi.”

”I'll meet you outside in 15 minutes.” And Mickey hangs up.

Ian can't get the smile off his face, but he tries to hide it while handing back the phone to Veronica and pays for the beer.

"Hey!" V yells after him. "See you at the party on Friday?" Ian doesn't understand.

"Which party?"

"Fionas' "Woo, I got the job"-party?"

Ian pretends to know.

"Oh, yeah. Course."

He exits and lights a cigarette and looks around. He begins to wonder what Mickey really wants. Why did he want to meet him here?  
Three cigarettes inhales before he can see a small figure approaching him in the distance. 

Mickey walks past him and nods at the alley behind the bar. Ian follows.  
Ian is pushed hard against a dumpster. It actually hurts. "What d'you did that for?" He snaps at Mickey while rubbing his back.

"What have you told your shitty ass brother?" Ian have never seen him this angry.

"What? Nothing. Why the fuck would I?" It's times like these he appreciates his tallness, he get's closer and looks down at Mickey's scrunched up face. Mickey doesn't seem threatened though. He pushes him again.

"Bullshit!" He spits in Ians face.

"What the fuck Mick?"

"Don't call me Mick, faggot!"  
Ian backs off. 

"Why do you think Lip suspects something?" He asks.

"I met him here yesterday and he started to ask stupid fucking questions about us. Like why we're suddenly hanging out and shit."

"So?"

"So, why the fuck would he do that if you havn't open your stupid mouth to him?"

Ian laughs. "Well, Mick, I think it seems weird to everybody that we're hanging out." He takes Mickeys chin in his hands and burrows his eyes into those piercing blue ones.  
"I would never tell about us. Not as long as you don't want to. God, I'm not even sure he knows I'm gay." Just a small, white lie. He don't want to ruin this. And he's sure he can handle Lip on his own.  
Mickey seem to relax. Ian takes him by the waist.

"Hey, it's alright. No one's gonna find out." He assure him and gives him a small smile.  
Mickey smiles back and pushes him once more, but not very hard.

"Fuck you, Gallagher. Come over to my place tonight. Got unfinished business with you."  
Ian's pretty sure what he's referring to and his smile widens. Mickey walks out from the alley and Ian watches that hot ass of his.

Dinner at the Gallaghers were pretty chaotic sometimes. Tonight's no exception. Debbie and Carl are fighting over the last piece of lasagna. Liam is laughing and refuses the food Fion's trying to feed him. Lip and Ian are quiet though until Ian opens his mouth.

"Mandy's coming over tonight?"

Lip nods. "Yeah, why?"  
Ian tilts his head, getting closer to Lips.

"Just so I know when I need to leave so I can avoid you guys when you're fucking." he whispers teasingly.

"Oh, yeah?" Lip answers. "So it's not so you can be alone with Mickey at their place?" He smirks.

Ian grits his teeth. "What the fuck do you mean by that?"  
Lip takes a bite and shrugs.

"You're a fucking stupid head."

Lip laughs. "What the fuck is a stupid head?"  
Ian gives him the finger, runs upstairs and changes his clothes.

He stands in front of the Milkoviches, breathing the cold air. After a while he can see Mandy coming out. He's not very sure he wants her to see him, so he position himself behind a lamp post. But he failed the hiding. Mandy squeezes her eyes. "Ian? What are you doing here?"  
Ian crosses the road just to meet her outside the gate.  
"Hi, I wanted to hang out, but I guess you're on your way to fuck my brother?"  
She laughs. 

"Well, something like that." She sticks out her tongue before she walks away.  
When she's out of sight Ian walks up to the front door and knocks a couple of times before Mickey opens.

"Hi." Ian is immidiently dragged inside.

"Come on." Mickey walks to his room and drags off his shirt before they close the door. He turns to Ian and kisses him aggressively. Ian melts in to the wet, sloppy kiss and pushes Mickey down to the bed.

"So..." He says after he has broken the kiss. "Unfinished businesses huh?" He smirks and straddles Mickey where he is lying on the bed, with his arms resting over his head. Mickey licks his lips then re-positions himself so he's on top of Ian instead. "Yeah, tough guy." Ian is so turned on. This is what he has been waiting for for so long. He's already hard, Mickey notices, grabs Ians wrists and holds them hard against the bed and then begin teasing him by moving his hips back and forth over Ians hard-on. This time Mickey's the one who slips down, kneeling and dragging Ian closer to the edge of the bed by his legs. He dragging off Ians tight jeans, throws them over his shoulder and watches Ians cock popping out when the boxers also are dragged down. He looks up at Ian who is lying comfortable with his arms beneath his head and the legs over the bed's edge, with a big smile on his face. But then Mickey suddenly backs off. Ian's asks what's wrong. "Well... " Mickey begins. "Never done anything like this..."

Ian sits up. "It's alright, Mick." He slips down and joins Mickey on the floor. "But you've been sucked off, right?"

"Well, yeah, sure. But never by a guy."  
Ian shrugs. 

"Neither have I, not even by a girl."  
Mickey's surprised.

"Really?"

"Nope. And I'm not gonna pressure you. But there's something else I've done before." He smiles and begs Mickey to stand up, he does. Ian stands on his knees in front of Mickey, drags down his pants and don't hesitates when he grabs Mickey's hips hard and takes his dick in his mouth. Mickey tilts his head back as far as he can and his mouth opens wide.  
Ian is able to smile while pushing in Mickeys cock as deep as possible. Then starts to suck it slowly, teases the tip with his tongue.

"Oh, shit." Mickey moans, grabbing Ians hair. And he starts to thrust slowly in to Ians mouth.  
After only 8 or 9 thrusts Ian can feel something warm in his mouth and Mickeys whole body is trembling. Ian doesn't mind swallowing, not at all.

"Oh, Shit." Mickey repeats and he throws himself on the bed. Looking at Ian. "Damn, Gallagher. That wasn't too bad."  
Ian smiles and wipes his mouth.

"Not too bad? Oh, you loved it."  
They smile together. Dresses, goes out to the living room and shares a beer in silence in front of the TV.


	8. Van-tastic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is a very short chapter. Just to show you I'm still here. I'm gonna update this chapter as soon as possible. Got some stuff to take care of for a couple of days now.

Friday comes. Ian had taken an extra shift at the gym. Both he and Tina's in the reception. They're eyeing the gym, guessing what all the people are doing for a living.  
Tina points at a guy in Ian's age.  
"What about him?" She asks.

"Ehm, he's probably in high school? He's like 16." 

Ian looks at Tina who makes a noise that's like a sigh and a grunt at the same time.

"No, I mean, would you fuck him?" She whispers.

Ian eyes the guy, tilts his head.

"Well, he is kinda hot. But..."

Tina cuts off. "Oh! So there's a but? Or maybe a butt?" She grins and bumps Ians shoulder with her own.

Ian actually lets out a small laugh. He likes Tina's bad jokes and word plays.

"Oh my god. You've met someone!" She gapes. 

"Maybe..."

"Well, tell me then?" She do love gossip.

Ian shakes his head. "Really can't." He changes the subject before Tina can ask why he can't tell her about it. "Hey, d'you think I can leave early tonight?"

"What, you gonna see him?" 

"No, just family stuff." Ian answers.

Tina looks around, to see how full the gym is.

"Yeah, alright. I think I can manage. You go on home." She smiles and pats him on the back.

When Ian gets home the party has already started. Kevin is sitting at the kitchen table watches a drunk Fiona dancing towards Ian. In the living room Ian can see V swinging Debbie around, Lip got Mandy in his lap, Carl has found a beer. Liam is probably sleeping upstairs.  
"Ian! Come dance with your sister!" Fiona yells over the loud music. But Ian's not really in a party mood.

"Sorry Fi, just gonna go to bed. Long day." He says and tries to remove himself from Fionas clingy hug.

"You're such a bore!" But she let go and drags Kev into the living room instead.  
Ian notices the cell phone on the kitchen counter. He brings it with him and goes upstairs.  
He jumps up on Lips bed and leans against the wall, his long legs dangling over the beds edge.  
He sits there, fiddling with the phone for a while. But finally he flips it open and dial Mickey's number.  
Just as before he answers with a short "What?"

"Hey, it's me." Ian thought Mickey would recognize his voice by now, but apparently he doesn't, or he don't want to talk. Ian continues. "It's Ian."  
Mickey doesn't sound very excited when he just answers with a "Oh. Hi." Ian is shaking a bit. He have no idea what to say, really. Mickey's not the talkative kind.

"Uhm, you wanna meet?" He asks and he can almost hear Mickeys' brain working at high speed, but then a surprising. "Okay, sure. Under the bridge in ten."

"Not at your place?" It's so cold outside Ian's not sure he wanna freeze his ass off, literally.

"Brothers home."

Ian's kind of desperate to see Mickey so he agrees to meet at the bridge anyway.

The party's still going on downstairs. Ian have no intention to stop and say good bye, he don't want any questions to why he's going out in the middle of the night. So he make sure his siblings and neighbors are out of sight when he sneaks out the kitchen door. He's lucky. Everyone's too busy dancing the night away.

Mickey is late, but only by a couple of minutes. When he finally turns up he stops almost a meter from Ian. He has his hands in his pockets and Ian can see he's clearly uncomfortable.

"So..." Ian begins. "What do you wanna do?"

"You the one who called, remember?" Mickey answers, not looking at Ian.  
Ian takes two steps forward and is now so close Mickey their noses almost touch. Mickey's looking up. Eyes meeting eyes. Ian smiles and he begin to fiddle with the zipper on Mickeys jacket. And he leans forward and whispers: "I want you." He can feel Mickeys breath on his neck and he suddenly gets an idea. "My place?"

Mickey frowns. He knows they're having a party, since Mandy's there. He takes a step back. "What? No fuckin' way, you've got like the whole neighborhood over there."  
Ian grins.

"Not in the van in our yard."  
It's quiet for a while.

"Ah, whatta heck." Mickey says and begins to walk.

Mickey's looking around the yard before joining Ian in the red, scrappy van.  
But as soon as they're inside, standing on their knees, they unzips jackets and peels off shirts while breathing heavy. Their mouths and tongues meet in an aggressive kiss. Ian grabs Mickeys waist and pulls him as close as he can. Mickeys hand's round Ians neck and the other's resting on Ians which now's draped round Mickeys back. Then, with one hand, Ian starts to fumble with Mickeys belt buckle, when he doesn't succeed Mickey takes over. Ian watches as he pulls down his jeans and boxers.

"Impatient, are we?" He says with a smirk.

"Shut up." Mickey pants and kisses Ian while guiding his hand to his crotch. Ian gropes his hard cock and strokes it teasingly slow and carefully then pulls down his own pants and puts Mickeys hand on his, also very hard, cock. They stroke and pull at each other and breathes so hard the van soon becomes a sauna.  
Ian thinks, now it's time. He wants to fuck Mickey. He let go of Mickeys cock and gropes his ass instead, it's so round, puffy and soft. Mickey groans as Ians strong hands are squeezing and kneading his butt cheeks.  
Now. Ian looks Mickey in the eyes once before he takes his waist and pulls him around so he's facing the van's wall. Mickey presses his hands against it and tilts his head back so it rests on Ians shoulder. Ian kisses his neck and softly nibs on his earlobe. Mickey's definitely in to it. He closes his eyes and brings an arm around so he can grab Ians head, stroking his hair and neck.  
Ian moans in to Mickeys ear "I want to fuck you." Mickey stiffens. He breaks loose and turns to face Ian.


	9. Van-gasm.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just smut. ;)

They looked at each other for what felt like an eternity to Ian. Crap. This was a shitty idea. Just saying it like that. What was he thinking? Or he wasn't thinking. He just wanted Mickey. More than he already had.

They're now sitting on the dirty blanket. Still naked. Mickey's still quiet and eyes glued to Ian's. He can't read Mickeys expression. He feel so stupid.

"I'm sorry. Stupid fuckin' idea." He says. and while he crawls into his boxers he adds "I don't know what came over me." But when he's about to reach for the rest of his clothes, a firm grip round his wrist stops him. Ian loses balance and falls down on his ass, Mickey carefully pushes him down so he's on his back, straddles him and holds down his arms with strong hands.

"Not the worst idea you've had." He says with a grin.  
This for real? Ian thinks. Or is Mickey just teasing him? But that thought doesn't stop the tingling feeling in his boxers, he can feel he's getting hard. Mickey does too.

"Who's impatient now? huh?" That sexy grin covers Mickeys lips. Ian can't help himself, he takes Mickey by the neck and pulls him down for a kiss. Mickey's there, welcoming Ian's tongue. This kiss feels different, Ian thinks, more... tender?

"We okay?" Ian asks after the deep kiss. Mickey just hushes him and slowly lets his hand glide from Ian's wrist to his bicep, over his chest, stomach and stops by the boxers. By this time Mickey's now sitting on Ian's thighs, his hand just holds the waist line on the underwear.

"Alright ginger, fuck me then."

Ian's brows raise, his eyes widens and jaw drops, but then there's a smile. Mickey cleans his teeth with his tongue and his hand is beginning to rub Ian's groin. Oh, fuck. This is amazing. Lips comes together, hard, wild. Ian rolls over so he's the one on top. He can feel Mickey looking at him but the only thing Ian is looking at is Mickeys hard cock between his own legs.  
He just dives. Letting his mouth glide down as far as it can without making him gag. Mickey arches his back and tangle his fingers into Ian's hair.

"Shit." He breathes out. His hands pulls Ian's hair a little tighter, Ian looks up.

"What?" He asks with Mickeys dick still in his mouth. Mickey is trying to say something but only a sigh moves over his lips. But then he's able to breathe out a low "Fuck me, Ian."

"You sure?"

Mickey nods. "Hell yeah."

"But you seemed so unsure before."  
Mickey pulls himself up so he's resting on his elbows.

"Well, course I'm nervous. Never been fucked." He licks his lips. "But who can resist that?" He nods towards Ian's crotch. 

"You're not alone, I've never been fucked either." A small pause. Ian almost feel ashamed by saying it. "Actually never even fucked anyone ..."

Mickey tilts his head in surprise. "Whoa, Gallagher's a virgin? Couldn't see that one coming..."

"Shut up and lay back." Ian orders. Mickey do what he's told and Ian continues pleasuring him with his mouth. Slow and steady. And Mickey grabs his hair again.

"Okay, come on." Mickey groans. Ian let go and crawls up to face Mickey so they can share a kiss instead. Ian loves the fact that Mickey doesn't care that he had his dick in his mouth a couple of seconds ago. He kisses Ian with eagerness. Ian lies like a stranded whale on his body.  
He spits in his hand and squeezes it in between him and Mickey, so he can touch himself while the back of his hand glides over Mickeys cock at the same time.  
They moan and pants in each others mouths. Ian think, it's time. He glides down from Mickeys body a bit so he can reach that perfect ass and it's crack. And his lips deliver kisses on Mickeys throat and chest. He can feel Mickey trying to raise his hips from the floor but Ian's weight's holding him down.  
He licks teasingly Mickeys nipple and a soft sigh comes out from Mickey.  
Ian count to himself how many circles his middle finger is making round Mickeys hole. 1,2,3,4,5,6. After six circles he removes his hand, spits in it again and evens out the saliva between his fingertips. 

"You ever done something like this?" Ian asks and bites Mickeys lower lip.

"Yeah, on my own... ya know." Mickey pants.

"So you're ready?"

Mickey nods. And Ian begin to press on his hole and slowly it slides in. He holds it there and looks at Mickey, who seem very content. So he continues and moves it around a bit.

"Fuck." Mickey cries out. Ian smiles. He's happy to please Mickey. "That's enough." Mickey suddenly says and pushes Ian back so he can sit up. Ian freeze. Oh, shit, what has he done now?  
But Mickey just takes Ian's cock in his hand, jerking him off while kissing him. Then drench his hand in saliva and spreads it on Ian's cock and around his hole. "I'm ready."  
Ian stops for a while. "Condom?" He says shortly. Mickey shakes his head.

"You a virgin, right?"

"Yeah, but what about you? Mandy told me 'bout..."

"Mandy knows shit. I mean, yeah, I fucked one of her friends one time. Rest is just...you know."  
Ian understands. Rumors.  
So this is it. They both gonna lose their virginity. Ian is trembling. His heart beats like never before, he got hot-flushes and his eye sight may not be the best. But he's so ready for this.

When Ian presses in, he can't breathe. Oh, god that feels good.

"Oh, fuck." He can see Mickey moan, inaudible. Ian closes his eyes and begin to move, slowly. Out and in. Mickey reaches for his ass and pressing it closer. "Faster."  
Ian thrusts faster, more intense. "Shit, Mickey." He tilts his head back, still with closed eyes. But only for a moment. He realizes he want to see Mickey's body, face and expressions. Their eyes meet. Mickey's whole face is scrunched up, tense and red as a tomato.  
It's the sexiest thing Ian's ever seen. And that brings him closer. He's ready to come.

"Mickey... I'm... shit." Is all he can say. Mickey nods as in "It's okay". And Ian let go and comes hard into Mickey. His body shakes uncontrollably and he's not able to stand on his knees any longer, so he collapses down on Mickeys body.

"I'm sorry." He whispers. Mickey puts a hand on Ian's head which is planted between his neck and shoulder. "I can finish on my own."  
Ian immediately sits up.

"No way. That's not how I wanted this to end." He's still inside Mickey, not moving, just stretching his ass a bit while jerking him off. It doesn't take long. Mickey groans like an animal, something like a bear or a fiery bull. Then a deep sigh and then quiet. His cum is splashed over Ian's hand and his own stomach.

"Wow. Shit." He says and Ian pulls out.

"Yeah. I know." Ian is in awe. If this is what sex feels like? He could definitely get used to it. Especially if it's with Mickey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I'm not too comfortable writing smut yet, but I hope you enjoyed this.
> 
> (Why I chose six circles is just because 6 is both spelled and pronounced "Sex" in Swedish)


	10. That sucks.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He's a bit more relieved, but he still wonders about that weird fucking good bye he got, and Mickey's cold voice when he said it.  
> Mickey was cold by nature, but after a night like that? Ian would love to know what was going on in Mickey's head."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you don't get too frustrated by the short chapters. 
> 
> I appreciate comments and feedback. It motivates me :)

Ian wakes up by a loud bang. He knows it's the door to the house. He lifts the temporary curtain (which is just a pillow case taped around the small window with duct tape) , just enough to peek out and see who came in or went outside the Gallagher house. He sees Lip standing on the porch. Shit.  
He quickly remove himself from the window, but too fast. He loses his balance and falls over a sleeping Mickey.

"Ouch! What the fuck..." He shouts, but Ian is quick to muffle the sound by putting his hand on Mickey's mouth.

"Shut up." He whispers. With his big hand covering most of Mickey's face he can't see his expression, but the blue eyes are clearly burning with rage. Guess he's not too happy waking up like this. When he loosens his grip around the mouth Mickey slaps the hand away.

"What the fuck, Ian?" He repeats. Ian hushes him.

"Lip's outside. So shut.the.fuck.up." He articulates.

Mickey's rage turns into direct panic.

"Shit. Did he saw you?"

"Nah. I don't think so."

"Is he still out there, then?" Mickey asks and Ian shrugs.

"I dunno..."

"Well, take a fuckin' look then! I don't wanna be caught like this, or at all for that matter. Can't fuckin' deal with that shit, Ian." Ian understand Mickey's fear. Mandy's told him about their father.  
Ian takes a look outside again, sighs in relief and bends down and gives Mickey a small kiss.

"I fuckin' hope that was a 'he's-not-there'-kiss?" Mickey says and Ian nods. "Alright, then I gotta go."

"Wait." Ian grabs Mickey's boxers. "Can I suck your dick first?" he asks with puppy dog eyes. Mickey tilts his head and grins.

"Almost getting caught turned you on, huh, fire crotch?" He gestures to the window. Ian smiles.  
"Alright, alright." Mickey laughs and lets Ian pull down his boxers.

Ian takes Mickey's thick cock in his hand and strokes it softly, waiting for it to get hard. He kisses Mickey hard and intense. Then he slides down on his stomach a bit and takes him in his mouth. His tongue follows as his mouth glides down the shaft. And every time he draws back, the tip of his tongue makes a circle around the head. And Mickey moans and shivers when it does. Now Ian's hard too. But they don't have too much time. Lip could return, or someone can come outside.

Ian picks up the pace. Glide and suck. Suck and glide. And he can hear Mickey breathing harder and faster. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, shit." He cries out, he has his fist in his mouth, trying to muffle his words by biting his tattooed knuckles. Mickey's chest raises. A deep exhale and his whole body shivers.  
Ian smile when he feel Mickey's hot mess in his mouth.

"Oh, shit." Mickey pants. Ian crawl closer to him. They're lying on their backs beside each other and just stares at the ceiling. But as soon as Mickey has regained his breath he begin to put on his clothes. "Sorry, dude. Now I have to go."  
Ian watches, eyes filled with lust, as Mickey pulls down his shirt over his broad, sweaty chest.

"You owe me one." Ian says and smiles.

Mickey zips his pants. "Yeah. Whatever. See ya." He peeks through the window before jumping out of the van and disappears.  
Ian lies with his eyes wide open. That was a weird good bye. He thinks to himself.  
But he put down that thought when he realizes how cold it is without another body beside him. He quickly dresses himself. Just as his jacket is on he can hear palms slapping the van's sides and Fiona climb inside, at the front seat.

"Hey, anyone there?" She asks before she spots Ian in the back.

"Hi Fi. What do you want." He yawns.

"What the fuck Ian? You've been here all night? It's almost 3 o'clock, in the middle of the day. Thought you were working today."  
Ian shakes his head.

"Bryan wanted an extra shift."  
He jumps out and heads toward the Gallagher house. Fiona follows him.

"Why did you sleep out there? It's fucking freezing, and we wanted you at the party." Ian grabs a cold chicken wing from the bucket on the kitchen table as he passes. Fiona won't stop. "Ian?"  
Ian stands with one foot on the first step of the stairs. He takes a deep breath before turning around, facing Fiona.

"I fucked Mickey Milkovich last night, then I sucked him off, about 20 minutes ago. He left me hanging so now I'm gonna go upstairs and jerk off in the shower." He says in one breath.

The silence after don't last long. Fiona bursts into laughter. Ian is still standing with his eyes on her. No smile on his lips.  
When Fiona notices the stone cold face her laughter dies.

"You're shitting me... right?" Her voice so shaky, Ian almost thought she were about to faint or something.  
He smacks his tongue and gives her a nod.

"Yes, Fiona." He heads upstairs. Everything he said was true. Even the jerking off bit.

He stands in the shower, closes his eyes and can immediately see Mickey in front of him. When he drags his hand over his chest and stomach, that's Mickey's hand. When he pinches his nipple, it's Mickey biting him and when the hand starts to stroke his cock. There's Mickey's mouth. Fuck. He really wanted that blow job Mickey now owes him. But this felt pretty good. Shit. He comes in a matter of seconds. 

He's a bit more relieved, but he still wonders about that weird fucking good bye he got, and Mickey's cold voice when he said it.  
Mickey was cold by nature, but after a night like that? Ian would love to know what was going on in Mickey's head.  
He also had to decide what HE wanted.  
If they got to know each other better, Ian would probably fall hard for the man. He already knew it.


	11. Make it rain as I cry...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "His attempt to get rid of all the rage and feelings hadn't succeeded.  
> He still had so many things spinning around in his head he couldn't help himself this time.  
> He needed to confront Mickey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly angst and tears, but maaaybe some nice things too.  
> Don't hate me for the weird ending on this one. I will update as soon as I get more inspiration.
> 
> Also I don't really have control over the time line. The story began in September, but I think this is somewhere in late November or beginning of December.
> 
> The title of the chapter comes from the song 'Exit wounds', by Placebo.

With holidays coming up Ian had a couple of weeks free from work, after Thanksgiving and Christmas the gym would, most definately need his help though.  
But right now he enjoyed the free weekends. He actually liked being around his family. He mostly spent his days with Lip. And Mandy of course, who seemed to be living there nowadays. Her clothes were scattered around the brothers bedroom and her make-up stacked up in the bathroom, mixing with Fiona's. Something Fiona wasn't too happy about.  
Ian hadn't heard from Mickey since the night in the van, two weeks ago. Maybe it was for the best, Mickey clearly had things to sort out. Ian too, really. What did he actually feel and want?  
During the day it wasn't too hard to put his Mickey-thoughts aside. The nights were worse. He had been laying awake until early morning, thinking of their weird and frustrating 'relation ship'. He couldn't forget the night at the Alibi room, when they shared their beers in total silence, and how Mickey later on confessed he actually tried to start a conversation but Ian left, and blaming him for not giving him a chance. Maybe he was right about that one. But then there was the bridge. Ian never got an answer to why Mickey just ran off.  
And then, of course, the van. Ian was going crazy by these very hot encounters and then the extreme cold that followed. But Ian wasn't going to chase after Mickey like some bitch. And by the way, he had no reason to visit the Milkoviche's these days, since Mandy only spent her time at the Gallaghers. Going there only to see Mickey would just seem desperate and and would probably push Mickey further away from him.

Ian, Lip and Mandy had a lazy saturday in the living room in front of the TV. After an episode of The Simpsons ended Mandy left the couch. 

"I'm just gonna go to my other home and get some more clothes and shit." She gave Lip a light kiss. "Be right back."

During the time she was gone all Ian could think of was how and if he should ask her about Mickey, when she returned. He waited eagerly. After two more episodes Mandy was back with a garbage bag full of clothes and probably some 'girl stuff', Ian thought. He knew Fiona was tired of Mandy stealing her tampoons and using her brush all the time.  
After putting down the bag she fell in between the boys on the couch and kissed Lip, like they hadn't seen each other in weeks. Ian frowned. Then took a deep breath an opened his mouth.

"So, how's Mickey?"

Mandy shook her shoulders. "Good, I guess." She laughed before she added. "Can you believe it? He has actually, finally, met some one!"  
Ian lost his breath.

"What? Like a girl?" He asked and at the same time the words slipped out from his mouth he understood how bad that sounded, so while he was waiting for an answer he turned his eyes to the TV so he couldn't see Mandy's expression.  
Both her and Lip laughed.

"Yes, stupid. A girl."  
He didn't have to ask the next question. Lip did it for him.

"Who's that then?"

Mandy shook her shoulder again.

"Hell should I know. Been living here, if you havn't noticed." She smiled and ruffled Lip's hair. "Probably some skank our dad introduced to him, or something."

Ian's whole body tensed up. His hands turned to fists and his nails dug into his palm so hard he were sure they were going to leave marks. He had a strong urge to hit something, or someone. Shortly after he excused himself and went to the bathroom on the top floor. He shut the door and leaned against the sink. His breath fast and heavy. And without thinking he raised his fist and punched bathroom mirror as hard as he could. But he didn't feel anything, so he punched it a second time. The glass broke into million pieces and fell down in the sink except for the one's which pierced through the thin skin on Ian's knuckles. Still no pain, only rage. But he could also feel a sickness in his stomach and his eyes tearing up. He wasn't surprised when there was a knock at the door. Everyone in the house probably heard the loud noise the punches and the mirror breaking made. Fiona were yelling hysterically outside. "Ian! Open the fucking door! What's going on?" He wiped his teary eyes with his left hand and opened the door. If he didn't they would break it down. He hid his bloody hand behind his back, but the broken mirror gave him away. Lip stood behind their furious older sister. 

"What the fuck Ian?" Fiona shouted right to his face. Ian didn't answer, just stood there with his lower lip between his teeth. Lip dragged Fiona to the side. 

"It's okay, Fi. We had a fight, that's all. I'll take care of this." He said with a calm voice. Fiona sighed and shook her head. 

"Why d'you guys always fight nowadays? Grow up for fuck sake!" and she left. 

Lip grabbed Ian by his shirt and guided him into their room, ordered him to sit on the bed then went back to the bathroom to get some bandages. 

"Jesus fuck, Ian." He sighed while picking out pieces of glass from his hand. "You really need to get your shit together. Mickey's not into you, so just...move on." 

Ian yanked the bandage from Lip's hand and continued to wrap up his wound on his own. Which wasn't too easy with his left hand, but he didn't need Lip to take care of him. 

"Deal with your own shit, Lip. Instead of others." He grumbled while struggling with the bandages. Lip stood up on his feet again.

"What d'you mean by that?"  
Ian looked up. 

"Oh, come on. Like you havn't noticed it already?"  
He could see Lip was very confused so he continued. "Mandy's in love with you, you fucker."  
He got off the bed and faced Lip, poking him in the chest. "And you better not play around with her feelings, she doesn't need that shit. She doesn't deserve another ass hole in her life. She's my friend."  
He left the room with a dumbfounded Lip still standing by the bed.

 

His attempt to get rid of all the rage and feelings hadn't succeeded. He still had so many things spinning around in his head he couldn't help himself this time. He needed to confront Mickey.  
He stormed out of the house and walked in a fast pace towards Mickey's house. He didn't hesitate when he brought up his left hand and knocked on the front door. One of the Milkovich brothers opened. 

"Mickey's home?" But he didn't wait for a response, he just walked right in and busted Mickey's door open and found him spread out on the bed, in deep sleep.

"Hey! Wake up!"

Mickey slowly woke up and cleared his eyes with his fingers before looking at Ian.

"Gallagher?" He crawled up and reached for the cigarettes on his bedside table. "The fuck you doing here?"  
Ian looked at him. Shit. His irritation faded, a smile grew on his face and he could feel butterflies in his stomach. He forgot how beautiful the short, dark haired man really was. And how extremely sexy he was in that tight tank top. But he wiped his smile away, cleared his throat and tried to sound as serious as he could. "What the fuck's going on, Mick? Why are you ignoring me? And what's the thing Mandy's saying, about you dating some stupid girl?" Mickey frowned and chuckled. "Hey, hey. Don't get all paranoid now, Gallagher..." Ian cut him off. "Why wouldn't I? First you're all friendly and shit, then cold as ice, then we fuck the fuck out of each other and then you just leave me there and ignoring me for weeks?" Mickey faced Ian. "What? You think I love you now or some shit? Just because we've fucked?"

Ian shook his head. "You're an ass hole Mickey. I'm not stupid. You're gay. I'm not asking for us to be all lovey dovey, but this, between us, is more than just a booty call and you know it. But if that's how you really feel, we can stop right here. I have no intention being someones fucking side dish."

He turned around and left, but Mickey ran after him and pushed him against the wall in the hall.

"Do you think this..." He gestured between the space between them. "...us... is easy?" He wheezed. Then he stuttered, with a very soft voice. "I-I really want to see you, I do. Ian. Please. Don't do this. Don't hate me for this."  
For a moment Ian could see Mickey's eyes almost tearing up a bit. Both stayed quiet until Ian broke the silence. "Why should I believe you?" Mickey looked around. No brothers. He took a step closer to Ian and stroke the collar on his jacket. Ian breathed heavy. This must be a dream. This has to be a dream. Suddenly he felt Mickey's lips on his. Just a peck. But enough for Ian's whole body to tingle. "Believe me..." Mickey said with a strict voice and then let go of Ian., who just stood there with his mouth wide open. He could still feel the softness of Mickey's lips on his own.


	12. Like a stab in the chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thought I should try to write a chapter from Mickey's POV.  
> It doesn't really need a summary since it's pretty much like the chapter before.  
> Hope I didn't screw up too much.
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry for possible misspelling

Mickey opened a beer just to hear a slam in the front door, and a couple of seconds later Mandy rushed in to his room.

"The fuck you doing here? Thought you had moved to those ugly Gallaghers." He took a gulp from his beer and burped right after. Mandy scrunched her nose.

"Fuck off. I'm here to get some stuff. Have you seen my Spoon T-shirt?*

  

"How should I know where you put your things?" He hated this. Couldn't she just leave him alone? He had way too much on his mind.  
Mandy sighed and began to search a pile of clothes. Mickey snapped.

  

"Get the fuck out Mandy!" He got up from his bed and pushed his sister out the room and shut the door, but Mandy wasn't finished with her brother. God, he needed to fix a lock on that fucking door.

  

"Why are you home anyway, Mick? You're not even hanging out with Iggy and Colin anymore. What's up with that?" She just wouldn't stop talking. "I think you need to get laid. I can hook you up with a girl at my school. She's really cool. Maybe you know her, Gia Lester?"  
Mickey huffed.

  

"I don't need your help Mandy. And I really don't wanna fuck someone named after a car."

  

Mandy laughed.  
"GIA. Not Kia. Stupid."

  

"Whatever." He mumbled. "Really. Don't need your help. Already banging someone." Well, he wasn't lying.  
Mandy looked at him with wide eyes. 

"Oh, really? Why havn't you told me?"

Mickey gave her a confused look while gesturing with his hands.  
"Since when do we talk about anything?"

  

"Gaah, you're no fun."  
She finally left and Mickey laid down and closed his eyes. 

He were awaken by the sound of someone yelling "Wake up" Oh, shit. What did Mandy wanted now? But when he rolled over and saw that beautiful freckled face he felt a shiver down his spine. But he was still too tired to greet him nicely. 

  

"The fuck you doing here?"  
Shit, he wanted to jump that body. He lit a cigarette. Mostly because in that way he didn't have to look at the red head. But he almost dropped the cigarette when he heard what Ian had to say. 

  

"What the fuck's going on, Mick? Why are you ignoring me? And what's the thing Mandy's saying, about you dating some stupid girl?" 

  

Oh, fuck. Of, course Mandy had opened her big fucking mouth. At the same time, as much as he wanted that body in his bed he thought Ian was a bit too worked up about this. It wasn't like they really knew each other. They were just exploring that sex stuff. Growing feelings for him? no fuckin' way. So he decided to let Ian know he was way too dramatic. 

  

"Hey, hey. Don't get all paranoid now, Gallagher..." 

But the red head cut him off. "Why wouldn't I? First you're all friendly and shit, then cold as ice, then we fuck the fuck out of each other and then you just leave me there and ignoring me for weeks?" 

  

Mickey bubbled up inside, he got up and faced Ian. "What? You think I love you now or some shit? Just because we've fucked?" 

  

They guy didn't give up. "You're an ass hole Mickey. I'm not stupid. You're gay. I'm not asking for us to be all lovey dovey, but this, between us, is more than just a booty call and you know it. But if that's how you really feel, we can stop right here. I have no intention being someones fucking side dish." 

  

It felt like a knife slowly penetrated Mickey's chest. ´Gay´. He hated that word. He wasn't gay. He liked fucking guys. That was it. Before he knew it Ian had left the room. Oh, crap. That knife went deeper and deeper through his body and when he thought he maybe never got to see Ian again it poked his heart.  
He took a deep breath and ran after the boy. He caught him in the hall and pushed him against the wall. When he met those green, piercing eyes he knew he had to do something. He didn't know what this was, but he didn't want to ruin it.  
And he wheezed out 

  

"Do you think this..." He waved his hand in the space between them "...us..." that word was hard. " is easy? "I-I really want to see you, I do. Ian. Please. Don't do this. Don't hate me for this." 

  

A mixed feeling of fear and sadness filled him. And he could feel his eyes sting. But he managed to hold back the tears. For every silent second after his confession his heart beat faster and faster. But then, finally, ian opened his mouth.

  

"Why should I believe you?" 

  

Mickey sighed in relief and almost smiled. He took a quick look around. No brothers. So he took a step closer to Ian. He didn't hesitate when he brought up his hand and carefully stroke the collar of Ian's jacket. He could see Ian's nervousness.  
Mickey just did it. He placed a small kiss on Ian's lips. Just a small peck, to ensure the boy he actually was telling the truth. 

  

"Believe me..." He then said and let go of the boy.  
The knife in his chest disappeared and was replaced by a warm, tingly feeling of relief and hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And really sorry if this was sloppy and short.


	13. Cha-cha-changes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of course his mouth grew a tiny smile. But only for a couple of seconds. He began repeating to himself. ”No fucking feelings, no fucking feelings.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some smut. With a twist. Or two.  
> This one's also from Mickey's POV.

”So… there's no girl?” Ian asked.  
Mickey fixed his eyes on the halls wooden floor and shook his head.

”Mandy asked a bunch of stupid ass questions, so…” he stopped when he felt a clothed hand stroking his own. He carefully lifted the hand and looked in to Ian's eyes.  
”The fuck happened? Hit someone, though guy?”  
Ian stayed quiet.  
”Come on, Ian. Tell me.”

Now it was Ian's turn to drop his eyes to the ground and started to blush up.

”Well… when Mandy told you'd met someone…” Mickey sighed in the middle of the sentence. Mandy really couldn't keep quiet about anything. ”I guess I got a bit… jealous? So I may have broken a mirror.” 

Mickey froze for a second but then he could feel a weird warmth inside. Someone jealous, because of him? That was a word and feeling he'd never known. The Milkovich family were as cold as the Chicago winters. The only feeling he'd grown up with was fear and anger. He had seen Mandy cry one time, but he never asked why. So of course his mouth grew a tiny smile. But only for a couple of seconds. He began repeating to himself. ”No fucking feelings, no fucking feelings.”  
He couldn't soften up now. This was just physical attraction. Extreme, but yes, strictly physical.  
So much so that Mickey suddenly felt the warm feeling in his chest moving down and made his cock hard.

”Come on” he said and turned. Walking towards his room.

As soon as they were behind the closed door Mickey took Ian in a firm grip and pulled him closer. The agressive kiss went on for what felt forever. But he wanted it to. Kissing Ian was as good as mapel syrup on the breakfast pancakes or getting high and falling asleep on the living room couch. Shit. 'No feelings, no feelings. No.fucking. feelings.'  
He broke off the kiss and instead let his hands search under Ian's layers of clothes in an attempt to get to that soft, soft skin he hadn't felt under his hands for weeks now. The red head answered by slinking out of his jacket and then lifting up his arms so Mickey could pull off his shirts. They went back to the kissing and Mickey continued to remove clothes off of Ian's body. When the jeans were down he put his hand in the boxers and grabbed Ian's cock.

”Fuck, you're hard.” he breathed out. 

Ian smiled. ”yeah, well its been a while. Missed you, you know.”

Mickey didn't answer but nodded and grabbed Ian's strong biceps. He turned him around and pushed him down on the bed. While he was struggling with his own clothes Ian waved his wrapped up hand.

”What we're gonna do about this?” he asked Mickey who let go of his belt.

”shit. Right. Ehm…” he went down on his knees and squeezed Ian's calfs. ”what if…” he stroke the long legs until he reached Ian's groin. Where he just let his hand rest while finishing his sentence. ”what if I suck you off this time?”

Ian looked down on Mickey with big eyes.  
”You sure?” 

Mickey shrugged. ”Yeah, what the hell, can't be that hard.” he started to jerk Ian off, slowly. ”Not this hard at least.” he smirked at Ian who, by this time, were moaning and panting from the feeling of the hand squeezing, stroking and gliding around his cock. 

”Shi-i-it.” 

Mickey wiped off some pre-cum from the tip. He wasn't ready to taste that shit, yet. He tucked his lips under his teeth and let the mouth just glide down the long shaft. It directly hit the back of his throat and he gagged. 

”Sorry.”

Ian shook his head. ”Don't say fucking sorry. Just keep going, you'll get the hang of it.”

Mickey let a ”Hmph” out.  
”Says the one who surely have sucked tons of guys.”

”3 doesn't make me a professional Mickey. Now keep going!”

Mickey did as he was told. He swallowed the big one again, this time not so deep, and while making circular motions with his fingers round the base he started to suck up and down. His confidence grew when he heard Ian's groans and moans. And he picked up the pace and began to experiment with both his hands round the shaft and his mouth plopping on and off the tip.

”Ho-o-oly shit, Mickey!” 

Ian's body started to tremble. Mickey got off of the moaning and tremble and even though he already was hard he now got harder and harder.  
He removed one of the hands from Ian's cock and grabbed his own with it, started to pull slowly.  
Oh, god. He wanted to absorb that body. He let go of everything and crawled ontop of Ian, so their cocks touched each other.  
Ian sighed and put his hands around Mickey's body and made circular motions with his hips so cocks and balls were rubbing together.

”Mickey. Really? You've never done this?” he mumbled into Mickey's neck, who grabbed Ian by his hair and pulled his head back so he faced him and could stare into those deep eyes.

”You're saying I was good?”

Ian nodded with eagerness. ”Uh-hu”

”Should I continue?” Mickey asked with a smirk.

Ian nodded again. ”Fuck yes…please.”

Mickey slid off Ian's body and continued the sucking. While jerking himself off.  
Ian moaned a couple of times and tangled his fingers into Mickey's dark hair.

”Mickey… Fuck. I'm close…”

Mickey pulled it out of his mouth and jerked him instead. Hard and fast.  
His left hand were squeezing round his own shaft.

”Fuck! I'm…”

Ian weren't able to finish his sentence. He came so fast and his cum covered Mickey's hand. Mickey used it as a lubricant while finishing himself. 

”Oh, shit.”

he came a couple of seconds later. His body shaking. He joined Ian on the bed, both on their backs with the limp, cum covered cocks resting on their stomaches while catching their breaths.  
Ian turned to face Mickey. 

”You really sure you've never done this before? Should I get jealous again?”

Mickey shook his head. ”I'm sure. Just… I just… good you liked it.”

Ian grew a big smile a kissed the boy beside him. Passionately. Then crawled out of bed and picked up his shirt.

”You going?” Mickey asked. Surprised over the fact that he really didn't want Ian to go. 

”Yeah.” the tall red head nodded.

There was a short silence. ”Can't you stay?” 

Ian turned to look at Mickey who still were lying down with his hands resting under his head.

”You want me to stay? Mickey Milkovich wants me to stay?”

Mickey answered with a nod.

”What about your brothers?”

”Hmph. If they havn't noticed our moaning they must be off their heads and would probably not notice you hanging around.”

Ian tilted his head. ”Okay… I'll stay.” they smiled together and Mickey went to get some beers. Half way into the kitchen he bumped into a, sure enough, very drunk Iggy.

”So you're fucking a Gallagher now?” the taller brother asked. But didn't seem too surprised. Mickey's eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

”The fuck you mean by that?” 

Iggy laughed. ”Oh, come on Mickey. I'm not that stupid.” he patted his brother on the shoulder while walking past him. ”It's alright dude. Don't care. You like what you like, I like what I like.” 

Mickey couldn't move.

But when he saw Ian exit his room he quickly opened the fridge and took out two beers.

"Hey." he said with a shaky voice.  
Obviously Ian could tell because he put his hand on Mickey's upper arm and stroke it softly.

"What's wrong?"

Mickey backed off.  
"Don't touch me." he wheezed and made his way back to the room.  
He could smell the sweaty air in the room when he entered. He wanted it gone so he opened the window and fell down on the bed.  
Ian soon were beside him.

"You sure you're okay?"

Mickey nodded at first. But then changed his mind.

"No, not really..."

The red head again began to stroke his arm.

"What's wrong then?"

He just blurted it out.

"Iggy knows..."

Their eyes met. Ian seemed both confused and scared.

"Oh, shit..."

"Yeah... I think you should go." he mumbled.

"Yeah. Okay. See ya?"  
Mickey nodded and watched as the tall one left.


	14. Kiss with a fist.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He fell down in a fetal position on the bed. Heavy breaths followed by no breathing at all. Everything was hurting. This was fucked up. He really had fucked up everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is both from Mickey's and Ian's POV.  
> It's not cute at all. And even I, myself, got annoyed while writing it.  
> But it IS a necessary chapter.
> 
> The title is the title of the song "Kiss with a fist" by Florence + the Machine.

Mickey sat on the bed with a cigarette in his right hand while rubbing his eyes with his left.  
He was lost in confusion and fear.

”Fuck...” He was too deep in his thoughts that he didn't pay any attention to the cigarette which by now had burnt all the way down to the filter and burned his fingers. He dropped it and stomped on it. Couldn't care less that the rug may take some damage.  
Now that he had snapped out of his catatonic state he ran out of his room and from the living room yelled at Iggy. When he got no response he growled even louder:

”Iggy!”  
Finally his brother came staggering out from his room. Before he could ask the furious one what he wanted Mickey had pushed him down on his back. And breathed in Iggy's face.

”Where the fuck did you get that stupid fucking statement from, me and a stupid Gallagher?”  
Had he heard them? Or was Iggy just guessing? Or a lame joke?

The one on the floor raised his hands as in 'I give up'.

”Hey, man. It's alright. I won't tell any one if that's what you're worried about.”

Mickey got up from his knees and helped his brother up at the same time.

”You know fuckin'g nothing.” Mickey spit out.

”Come on. I saw you and the red head in the hall earlier.”

Mickey's heart started pounding.

”So what? Hanging out doesn't mean anything.”

Iggy were brushing off dust from his trousers and without looking at Mickey he said

”You were sucking face and shit.” he smirked and added. ”So you're like boyfriends now or whatever?”

Mickey scrunched up his face and were about to hit that piece of shit in front of him. But instead just gritted his teeth and mumbled. 

”Like hell we are.” 

He followed his brother in to the kitchen and took the bottle of beer Iggy were offering him. He popped off the cap with his teeth and let it roll down the crooked wooden floor.

”We just bang once in a while. Happy now?” He said in a low voice and took a gulp from the beer.

Iggy turned to look at him.

”What?” Mickey furrowed his brows.

Iggy smiled and raised his hands again. ”Nah, it's cool. Just didn't know fuck buddies kissed and shit like that. But it's alright, innit? I won´t tell or anything.” 

Mickey were once again like an ice sculpture. Iggy was right. It was weird they actually kissed more than they fucked. But it just happened, in the heat of the moment. And the kiss in the hall was just to ensure Ian that he was telling the truth. Nothing weird about that, right?  
But the more he thought of it, the more he understood what it was. It was the kisses. The kisses made him lose control and soften up. He really liked Ian. But as he had told himself thousands of times; He couldn't have feelings for a guy.

\-------------------

 

The air from his lungs made a big cloud in front of him when he sighed deep, before he went inside.

”Ian! Where have you been?” Fiona asked from the kitchen when she heard the front door. Guess everyone were home except him, because she didn't even turned around to see who came in.

”Nowhere.” he mumbled back and went directly in to the living room. Lip and Mandy hadn't moved. They were tangled up on the couch giggling and stuff.

Ian fell down in the chair beside the couch. He didn't focus on the TV at all. He pretended to, but all he could do was to glare at them. He wanted that. He wanted Mickey to be beside him. Snuggled up, playing with his hair and kissing his neck like Mandy did with Lip.  
But did he ever dare to tell Mickey that?  
He went out to the kitchen and poured up a cup of cold coffee and put it in the micro wave.  
Fiona looked at him.

”Don't you want something to eat instead? There's some pasta left on the stove.”

Ian smiled.

”Thanks Fi.” 

”Maybe it's none of my business, but I'm worried about you. Where do you go all the time? We never see you anymore. And whats with the sudden anger?”  
Fiona did seem worried. She put a hand on his back and stroke it like a mother (normal, caring mother, not like a Monica-mother) would do with her teenage son.  
Ian put on a fake smile.

”I'm alright. I just…”

Fiona cut him off. She whispered so Lip and Mandy wouldn't hear.

”You told me the truth. Didn't you?”

She tried to catch Ian's eyes with her own which was hard because he couldn't keep them still, they were all over the room, blinking fast.  
”I mean about you and Mickey?” She lowered her voice even more when she uttered his name.

Ian couldn't hold it together any longer. A tear appeared in his eye and he finally looked Fiona deep into her eyes.

”yeah…” his voice shaking like a leaf.

Fiona's eyes turned soft. She wiped the tear away from Ian's cheek.

”It's alright Ian. You don't have to tell me more, I just hope you know I'm here. If you wanna talk."

Ian nodded.

"I-I think I need some sleep." 

Fiona patted him on the back.

"Yeah, go on. The food's here when you feel like eating." 

When he laid down on his bed his eyes began to tear up more. And he found himself actually crying. He burrowed his face in his pillow and muffled the sound of the hissing sounds he made.

As soon as he had confessed to Fiona he were sure. He had feelings for that stupid asshole. But he didn't know what to do with them. He were sure Mickey didn't feel the same, even though that kiss in the hall way was pretty damn cute and soft. Not like their usual hot, messy kisses. 

He fell a sleep with red, teary eyes.

”Hey. Ian.” someone poked him on his shoulder. He turned around. His eyes still stinging.  
It was Debbie. She stood beside his bed with the cell phone in her hand. ”Someone wants to talk to you. He didn't say his name.”

Ian took the phone and waved at the door.

”Thanks Debs. I wanna take it in private so if you could...” 

She seemed very curious but did as she was told.

”Hello?”

Silence. So he repeated the question.

”Hi...”

He shivered when he heard Mickey's voice.

”Hi Mickey.”

”I need to talk to you. Bridge in 15.” 

”O-okay...” Before Ian could say anything else Mickey had already hung up. 

Ian had no idea how he should approach Mickey. He understood Mickey probably didn't want to jump his bone this time. This was going to be awkward.  
He was right. When they met Mickey stood with hands in his pockets, clearly tense, kicking around the gravel.

”So...” Ian began. ”What's up?” 

Mickey answered quickly, without a doubt in his voice.

”I think we should end this.”

Ian's jaw dropped a bit. Even though he could understand that Mickey felt insecure now that Iggy knew he wasn't prepared for that.

”W-what...what d'you mean?”

”Yeah, well...” His voice cold and eyes shifted to the side.

”Mickey... don't do this.” Ian reached out his hand, trying to place it on Mickey's cheek but he pulled back.

”I can't, Ian. I just can't. I can't risk anyone else knowing about us. Iggy is one too many.”

Ian swallowed hard. Shit. He regretted he had told Fiona, now more than anything.

”It's alright Mickey. We can be more careful. We can meet somewhere else, or...”

Mickey cut him off by yelling.

”No, Ian. Stop it! If Terry finds out I'm fucking dead. You get that?” But with a softer voice he added. ”I'm sorry...”

A deep anger began to bubble up inside Ian.

”Fuck you! You're such a fucking hypocrite, Mickey. And a fucking pussy! You know it. And I know it. We both know it. That kiss told me this is more. You want more. You like me, you wanna be with me. You can't fake that...”

Ian could hear a cracking sound, and feel a painful sting when the fist hit his jaw.

”What the fuck, Mickey?!” He palmed his face with his big hand.

Mickey's face was all scrunched up and he breathed so heavy you could see his chest moving through the over sized jacket. His mouth were as tense as his fists but he still managed to make a growling noise and the clouds coming out from his nose made him look like a dragon.  
He stared at Ian with no remorse, then turned around and walked away.

\--------

Furious and with aching knuckles Mickey stormed inside, pushing away Colin with his shoulder as he passed by. He closed his bedroom door with such force it almost fell off it's threads. He moved back and forth in his room scrubbing his face. Then threw out his arm and knocked over all the things on his night stand. He fell down in a fetal position on the bed. Heavy breaths followed by no breathing at all. Everything was hurting. This was fucked up. He really had fucked up everything.


	15. Déjà vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first thing he saw was a pale skinned, muscular naked back. Belonging to a shorter guy with dark hair. His heart skipped a beat.
> 
> ”Mickey?” He stammered. Shit, this was just like the dream he had after he had met Mickey the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a veeery short chapter.  
> But I plan to write the next one from Mickey's POV, so.

”Hey, what have you done?”

Of course Fiona were all over him when he came home with a big bruise on his jaw.  
She tried to take him by the cheek but Ian quickly twisted his head to the side.

”It's nothing, Fi.”

She sighed and smacked her tongue.

”Was it Milkovich? It was, wasn't it?”

Ian made the mistake of staying quiet for too long. It pretty much answered her question.

”Argh! I'm gonna kill that boy!” She growled. She opened the freezer and brought out a packet of frozen peas and pressed it against Ian's jaw.

”Please Fiona, it's okay. Really.” He said in a soft voice.

”Come on! Don't defend that little rat!” She was so furious Ian almost got scared of her.

”I'm not! I'm just saying it's none of your business!”

Fiona sighed again.

”Fine.” And she returned to the kitchen table and the computer.

\-------------------------

Holiday's came and went. Ian were back at work. It was nice being back to old routines. And he had missed Tina. He had missed spending time with some one outside the Gallagher house, and the Milkoviches. He hadn't talked to Mickey since the 'break up'. They had stumbled into each other a couple of times but it was extremely awkward.

This saturday the gym was full. As he had predicted. People really were desperate to lose the extra pound they had put on during the holiday's. They were so stupid, Ian thought.

He sat in the reception when Tina came from nowhere behind him and slammed her hand on the counter right in front of Ian.  
He jumped high in his chair.

”Jesus, Tina!” He turned and looked at the smiling woman.

”Hello to you too, cutiepie. " She put her strong arms round his whole upper body and rested her head on his shoulder.

”Some one said the men's were out of toilet paper. Could you?”

Ian nodded and released himself from her grip.

He took as many rolls as he could carry from the janitors closet and opened the door to the men's locker room with his shoulder. But as soon as he were inside he dropped all of them and he became stiff like a board.  
The first thing he saw was a pale skinned, muscular naked back. Belonging to a shorter guy with dark hair. His heart skipped a beat.

”Mickey?” He stammered. Shit, this was just like the dream he had after he had met Mickey the first time.

The man turned and smiled and Ian let out a big sigh. 

”Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else...”

He began picking up the rolls from the floor instead of looking at the guy. His face were warm and probably red as a tomato.  
And he blushed even more when he saw knees in front of him and a hand that began helping him with the toilet paper.

”It's alright. Can happen to anybody.” Their eyes met and the guy were still smiling.  
Even though he looked nothing like Mickey in the face Ian still felt a small twitch in his pants.  
He looked around then leaned in closer and quietly mumbled in the man's ear.

”Ehm, y-you wanna see me in the booth?” He shook his head towards the toilet stall's at the other side of the room.  
Shit. He actually dared to ask a stranger that? Was he that desperate? Apparently.

He met two widened eyes. But then the guy shook his shoulder and smirked.

”Sure.”

The man pushed Ian inside, locked the door and went down on his knees. He dragged down Ian's jeans and boxers in one fast motion. Ian leaned his head back when he felt the warm mouth round his cock. It was a bit weird, and awkward at first. It felt nothing like Mickey's mouth. And the guy's different scent didn't really made things better. So he held his breath as hard as he could. But when he began to speed up the pace and Ian bent down his head and saw that black hair he could imagine it was Mickey's hair. He tangled his hands in it and let his finger run through it. He closed his eyes again.  
After a couple of minutes he heard a voice.

”Hey, how's it going up there?”

He looked down and met two brown eyes. Fuck. His dick went limp in seconds.

”I-I'm sorry...” He took his dick from the guys grip and pulled up his pants. ”I can't.” Without any other explanation he left the stall.

”What the fuck?” He could hear on his way to the door. He stepped over all the paper rolls still laying on the floor and walked out in a fast pace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this sloppy chapter and possible misspelling.


	16. Eyes wider than before.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey's waking up in the middle of the night from nightmares. He decides to take a walk, trying to shake them off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No angst in this chapter. :)  
> Hope you'll enjoy.  
> (Chapter title from the song "Eyes wider than before" by Scott Matthews)

It had been a rough couple of weeks for the Milkovich siblings. Terry was out of prison and had taken over the house in every possible ways. There for, Mickey tried to stay out as much as he could. Not only did Terry make him furious and scared, but there was also the dreams. Or the nightmares he called them. It always included Ian in some way.  
Sometimes just his face flashing by but other times they were more intense.  
Everything from Ian stabbing Mickey in the chest and ripping out his heart, to very, very hot sex.  
But the one's that scared him the most were those of tenderness, warmth and love.  
Like cheesy romantic chick flicks.  
He even dreamt them moving in together, adopting five kids and lived happily ever after.  
He either woke himself up by screaming in fear or moaning from arousal.  
This night he woke up with a pain in his chest. The sheets were soaked in sweat. He immedietly jumped out of bed and hit the shower. Just standing there while the hot water ran over his body.  
It was almost 3 in the morning and, surprisingly enough, the house was quiet. Except for his dad's loud snoring, coming from the couch in the living room.  
He needed to get out. He couldn't get back to sleep again anyway.  
Carefully he sneaked out from his room after putting on yesterday's clothes. He tip-toed passed the couch, keeping an eye on the snoring ass hole the whole time. He stopped for a second to grab the bottle of vodka from the table.  
He slipped in to his boots and were about to put his jacket on when he suddenly felt something poking him on the shoulder. He were able to save himself both from dropping the jacket and letting out a "yelp".  
"Fuck! Mandy!" he wheezed at his sister who stood behind him with sleep drunken eyes. "You actually wanna wake that bastard by scaring the shit out of me?"  
Mandy yawned.  
"Says the one screaming in the middle of the night."  
"Fuck. I didn't..." He stopped when Mandy gave him a very slow nod combined with raised brows.  
Mickey just rolled his eyes and put his jacket on.  
"Where you going anyway?" Mandy whispered.  
"None of your fuckin' business!"  
"Can I come?"  
"No!" he grimached and left the house.

'Fuckin' winter' he thought to himself and pulled up the scarf over his mouth and ears.  
He made his way to the abandon buildings. Now and then he would remove the scarf from his mouth and sip from the bottle of vodka.  
He practically ran up the stairs to the roof of the buildning. Which maybe wasn't the best idea. The mixture of alcohol, heavy breathing and blood rushing made him dizzy and he had to sit down as soon as he had reached the last step of the stair. He managed to catch his breath for a while but was startled when he heard a loud crash, echoing through the whole building.  
"Who the fuck's there?" he shouted. But when he saw the tall man in front of him his throath went dry as a sand box.

"Mickey?" he took a step closer. But it wasn't enough for him to see Mickey's surprised, shocked and some what relieved expression. "What are you doin' here?"

"What's it to you?" Mickey snorted. Trying to stay cool. "Why are you here?"

"Bad night." Ian said while taking another small step forward.

"Yeah, well. Same here." Mickey joined Ian with his 'one sentence=one step'. "Dad got out of prison last week."

Just an "Oh." from Ian.

"What 'bout you?" Ian didn't answer. " Well, Something must've upset you, since you decided to throw bottles around, almost hitting innocent people." Mickey continued.

"Nah, just hard day at work. And family stuff."

Mickey was the one taking the last step this time. He put his hand on Ian's chest. Who seemed surprised and looked down at the hand before meeting Mickey's blue eyes.

Mickey felt something tingeling in his stomach, for a second he thought it was the alcohol coming up but then he knew what it was. It was those damn warm feelings he had surpressed for months. Seeing Ian here, now. And just the feeling of his heart beat under his hand was overwhelming. 

"I-I've been dreaming about you..." he confessed. Ian's eyes widened.

"You have?" He sounded genuinly surprised.

Mickey just nodded. He saw a small smile on Ian's lips and then hands caressed his cheeks. And a soft kiss.  
Mickey just melted under the man's touch. His whole body relaxing

They parted and Ian studied Mickey's face with an intense stare, not blinking for a second.

"You're so beautiful." he said. 

Mickey blushed but tried to stay cool.

"Fuck off, Gallagher."  
but there was a small smile hidden under the tough act.

Ian wrapped his arms around Mickey's whole body and kissed him. Deeper this time. That made both boys hard in an instant. They pressed closer against each other and Ian's leg sneaked in between Mickey's, his knee rubbing against the boys hard-on.  
A short breath escaped Mickey's lips. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes. The knee rubbing continued and teeth touched Mickey's ear lobe.

"Can I fuck you?" Ian whispered.

"What? Here? It's fuckin' freezin' man."

Ian smirked. "I think we'll manage to stay warm in one way or another." 

Mickey just laughed and unzipped Ian's jacket. Squeezing his muscly hips.  
Strong hands pushed Mickey forward until his back hit one of the concrete pillars.

"Turn around" Ian demanded. Mickey did and pulled down his sweat pants.

Ian put his left hand in his boxers and squeezed Mickey's dick, at the same time he brought up his right hand in front of Mickey, for him to salivate. Mickey didn't just spit in the palm. He took two fingers and guided them in to his mouth, sucking them teasingly and let saliva run down the whole hand.

"Oh, so that's what you want?" Even though Mickey couldn't see Ian's face he could hear the exitement and lust in his voice.

"Uuh..." Before he could say anything else he felt the wet fingers running down between his butt cheeks. And when they, gently, were pushed in to him he could only let out a soft moan.  
He closed his eyes and didn't think about what he were saying.

"Fuck, I've missed ya." He breathe against the concrete wall.  
Ian leaned forward. His, now, naked upper body laying over Mickey's back, who were still bent down. His puffy, pale ass pushing against Ian's groin.

"You really mean that?" Ian whispered and took a bite of Mickey's ear lobe.

Mickey turned his head over his shoulder, as far as he could without straining his neck, trying to catch Ian's eyes.

"Yes. I do." He said. Now with some sort of pride and confidence. He believed in his own words this time.  
Having Ian hovering over him, having him kissing his neck while working his hole slowly made all his troubles and bad thoughts go away.

Ian took a hold of Mickey's hip and flipped him around so they were facing each other. He held him close with his big hands squeezing the cheeks of Mickey's bare ass.

"What do you want?" Ian asked, licking his lips.  
Mickey got a bit confused. The answer was pretty obvious, wasn't it?

"wha... I-I want you."

Ian smiled. "I just wanted to hear it out loud." He kissed Mickey and then he made a circle in the air with his finger. Mickey turned around again, pressing his hands against the cold concrete and bending over. His ass waiting for Ian.  
But Ian put his arms around Mickey's body and straightened him up. He took the left hand and pinned it to the wall over Mickey's head, holding it there with a firm grip. And then fingers from Ian's right hand were inside of him again. Ian were full of surprises. He wondered where he got this idea from.

"Fuck, Gallagher" Mickey moaned. "Get in me already."

"Always so impatient." Ian said before pulling out the fingers. Mickey heard him undoing his belt buckle and a "swoosh" when Ian removed the belt. And his cock began to leak just by the noise of the zipper being un done. He couldn't wait to get Ian inside of him.  
Ian struggled a bit to find the perfect position but soon his big cock went deep inside Mickey.

"Holy fuck!" both boys gasped. Ian began to move. Slow, but deep and hard thrusts.  
His hand resting on Mickey's shoulder and Mickey reached for Ian's body behind him. 

"Shit, you feel so tight." Ian said and bit Mickey's neck. "Bend over again." Mickey did and Ian picked up the pace.

"Fuck, I love you." Mickey breathed out and Ian bottomed out. "Fuck!"

"What?"

"No, no, keep going. I'm so fuckin' close." Mickey groaned. Ian did. Pounded even harder and faster. Not long after that their moans becamr louder. Their bodies started to tremble and as soon as Mickey felt Ian filling him up with his warm cum he couldn't hold back and he came in an instant.

It didn't took long until he realized what he had blurted out in the middle of everything.  
'I love you'? God, where did that come from? He turned around. There were just silence. Ian's mouth open and big eyes on Mickey.

"What was that?" Ian asked quietly. His mouth obviously very dry.

"I think that was amazing sex?" Mickey answered, trying to laugh everthing off.

"No, stop it, Mick. You know what I mean..."

Shit. Mickey really had no idea what to say. 

"Well... " he started. But (thankfully) they were interrupted by a woman's voice echoing through the big building.

"Mickey!" she called out.

And then they saw Mandy coming up the stairs.  
Ian was still naked and Mickey with his pants down.  
Mandy froze.

"Oh. My. God." she said, eyeing the boys from top to bottom. But she quickly hid her face in her hands. "Oh my god!" she said even louder.

Mickey and Ian got in to their clothes. But in no hurry. Not like they could lie to her now.

"Alright, Mands. We're decent."

Ian said.

Mandy peeked through her fingers.  
"What the fuck, you guys? You?" she pointed at her brother. "And... you?" moving her finger to Ian.

"So?" Mickey said and raised his brows. 

Mandy stayed quiet for a while then shook her shoulders.

"Well, I guess it was just a matter of time."


	17. Just what ya feelin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ”So, we gonna talk about what you said?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title by "Kemo the Blaxican".  
>  (played in season 7 ep. 11)

Ian and Mickey stood with their mouths wide open, but Mickey soon shut it and took angry steps towards Mandy.

”Are you fucking following me, bitch?” he poked her in the chest, and while staring deep into his eyes with squinty eyes she answered with a confident ”Yes!”

Mickey pressed his lips together in fury and raised his brows. ”Well, stop that then, shit head!”

Ian squeezed between them, pushing them apart.  
”Alright, alright, calm down, you guys.” He put his hands on Mickey¨s shoulders.  
”It's okay Mick, it's just Mandy.”

”Yeah, well, she's gonna open her fucking mouth to your shitty brother.”  
He tried to give Mandy a deadly glare by looking over Ian's shoulder.  
Ian swallowed. Was it too late to tell Mickey? That both Lip and Fiona sort of knew?  
He felt a bit guilty when Mandy was the one answering.

”It doesn't matter if I tell or not. He already knows!”

Mickey burned up.  
”What the fuck?!” he spit out and tried to jup past Ian in an attempt to get to his little sister, but Ian held him back with his strong arms.

”I fucking knew it!” He pushed Ian one last time and stared at him. ”You told him, you piece of shit! I knew I couldn't trust you!”

Ian remained calm. He wasn't afraid of Mickey throwing a punch at him. But he did fear that he would leave him again.

”No, Mickey, I really didn't. He figured it out. Cos I acted all weird. When I was angry at you...or missed you. I'm sorry, I should've told you earlier.” he fixed his eyes on the ground and he heard a sigh from the boy in front of him.

”Alright shit head, leave! Now!” Mickey shouted.

Ian turned and took a step closer to the stair but a hand caught him and ´jerked him around. ”I didn't mean you. Mandy! Go!”

Mandy gave him the finger but did as he said. And while walking down the stairs she sang joyfully

”Ian and Mickey, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G...”

”Shut up!” Mickey shouted after her before catching Ian's eyes. ”I believe you.” he said.

”Huh?”

"I believe you. That you didn't told Lip.”

Ian breathed out. ”Oh. Thanks...” He paused, then remembered what they were talking about before Mandy showed up, and he continued.  
”So, we gonna talk about what you said?”

Mickey had also forgotten and let out a ”Huh?”

Ian smiled and grabbed Mickey's jacket, pulling him closer.

”You know... that you... love me?”

Mickey threw Ian's hand away and stepped back.

”I don't!” he began with a harsh voice, but his insecurity caught up with him and his voice became low and shaky. ”I didn't mean...I mean... I like you, Ian...”

”But?” Ian lingered on the word.  
Mickey began pacing back and forth, biting his lip and massaging his nose bridge.

”I don't know, Ian...”

Ian stopped him by flinging his arm around him. Pulling him closer.

”But I do.” He planted a small kiss on Mickey's soft lips. ”I love you, Mickey. It's up to you what you want, it really is. but you need to know that. That I love you.”

He gives Mickey's cheek a clap before he leaves. Leaving Mickey with his own thoughts.

Ian smiles to himself while walking home. He was actually happy about how it had turned out. That the truth had been told. It felt good, both knowing Mickey believing him and it felt really good saying he loved him, out loud. And deep down inside he knew Mickey felt the same way.

When he came inside the house it hit him how long he actually had been out. His fingers tingled while they began to warm up. He also noticed how hungry and tired he was. He made a sloppy sandwich and chewed it up with three big bites. And then went straight to bed.

”Hey.”  
Ian turned in his bed and met Lip's eyes above him.

”Hey, your boyfriend's here.”

He slowly climbed out of bed.

”Fuck off.”  
he murmured to his smiling brother.  
Down stairs he found Mickey in the hall, looking like a scared little lamb. He couldn't blame him though, the younger siblings were circulated around him. Watching him intensly.

”Carl! Debbie! Kitchen! Now!” Fiona yelled and they left the boys alone.

”I need to talk to you.” Mickey said. Anywhere we can go?”

Ian nodded and went for the stairs.

Mickey hesitated.  
”Wait...”

"What? You too tired? I can always carry you upstairs?” he grinned.

”Fuck you.” Mickey sighed and followed.

Lip sat on his bed smoking a joint while talking to, probably Mandy, on the phone.  
As soon as he saw the other boys enter he quickly ended the call.

”Gotta go, Mands... Yeah, love you too. See you tonight.”

”Oh, so you two a thing now, huh?” Mickey asked, truly surprised.

”You're the one to talk...” Lip coughed on his way out, shutting the door.

”Your brother's an asshole, you know that?” 

Ian just laughed before taking Mickey by his shirt and shoved him against the door. They stared at each other for a second, then Ian leaned in for a kiss. Mickey was relaxed by now, and he pressed even closer and the kiss became deeper and deeper.  
Then Mickey pushed back.

"You scared?" Ian asked.

Mickey stayed quiet for a while, rubbing his nose.

"Hey, Mick. They don't care, I promise you."

He ensured him, caressed his cheek and smiled.  
Mickey smiled back. 

“Stop being so God damn irresistible. “  



	18. Simply falling.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It felt weird, not just the biting, but being here. In someone else's bed. And not just anybody's, but a man's bed. Ian's bed. In a house full of, practically, strangers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the extremly late update. Blaming life. and havn't had much inspiration.  
> So maybe this is a bit short and sloppy. Anyways. Enjoy.
> 
> Chapter title named after Lyeoka's song "Simply falling".

Mickey put his hands on Ian's chest and pushed him forward, until he landed on the bed.

”Oh, you wanna play, huh?”  
Ian said with a big grin on his lips, and he managed to roll over and straddle Mickey. He took a quick look at Mickey's beautiful face then slid down a bit and began rubbing his hand around Mickey's crotch.  
The boy under took a deep breath and closed his eyes. But when he felt Ian's chin rubbing against his bare stomach he quickly raised himself on his elbows and looked down at the head under his shirt. 

”The fuck you doin'?”

”Just having some fun.” Ian mumbled. Mickey knew he was smiling under there. That goofy, mesmerising smile. He hissed when he felt teeth around his nipple.

”Fuck.”  
It felt weird, not just the biting, but being here. In someone else's bed. And not just anybody's, but a man's bed. Ian's bed. In a house full of, practically, strangers. But at the same time it kind of turned him on, and he could feel his dick move. Ian felt it too and answered by biting harder.

”Ow! Jesus, Ian!”  
Ian pulled his head out, with a big, playful smile on his face.

”Sorry. I got carried away.”

”No, shit Sherlock.”

They both sat up straight when they heard the door creak. Carl. Ian and Mickey went pale and red at the same time, but Carl couldn't care less about what the fuck was going on. He just went for the box under the bunk bed and pulled out a couple of action figures.

”Prepare to be melted.” He growled at the plastic toys, and left the room.

Ian and Mickey let their breaths out. Then laughed out loud.

”You wanted to talk?” Ian asked as the laughter died.  
Mickey tensed up again but tried to make some sense.

”Yeah, well... you know... I... ehm...” He mumbled while looking down on his knees and scratching his neck. ”I guess you were right...”

”I know.” The red head answered shortly and got off the bed. ”Want a beer?”  
Mickey nodded and Ian hurried down stairs.  
He almost ran into Fiona as he jumped down the last step. But she had quick reflexes and jumped to the side.

”Woah! Happy much?”

He didn’t say anything, just went for the fridge grabbing two beers.

“You love him?” Fiona asked. Ian turned and faced her. An insecure look on his face.

“Would that be bad?”

His sister shook her head and stroke his cheek.

“Nah. As long as you’re not coming home pregnant.” She gave him a smile then returned to the living room.

 

“Here.” Ian held out the beer for Mickey to take.

“Thanks, man.”

“Wanna stay the night?” Ian suddenly blurted out.

Mickey went cold.  
“Uhm, I don’t…”

“Don’t what?” 

“I've never slept in someone else’s bed before. Feels kinda weird.”

Ian crawled up beside him, and laid down so his head landed in Mickey’s lap.

"Better get used to it." He smiled.

Mickey's trembling hand made it's way to Ian's scalp and his fingers began stroking strands of the fiery hair.

Ian got goosebumps all over and he closed his eyes.

"Mm, feels good..."

It did feel good, Mickey thought.  
The weight of Ian's head on his legs and feeling those short curls between his fingers.  
He could get used to this.  
Bending down and kissing Ian felt pretty good too.

"I love you." Mickey whispered, barely loud enough for Ian to hear.  
The red head took him by the neck and pulled him down for another kiss.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to add (alot) more smut, but still finding it pretty hard. But this isn't over yet. So be patient.


	19. You better get ready.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think I wanna fuck you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The summary explains this chapter. Finally I was able to write some more smut!
> 
> This is not yet edited, so there's probably gonna be some faults here and there. Sry bout that.
> 
> Chapter title from the song "You better get ready" by The rosebuds.
> 
> (And please be patient with the updates. It's not over until I have a good ending, but it'll probably take time)

Mickey woke up with a smile on his lips. No nightmares. For once, in a very long time, he slept like a baby. No pain in his chest, no sore muscles, no pools of sweat and no screams. He twisted his head and saw the reason, lying on his back with his hand on his bare chest, snoring slightly.  
Mickey turned to his side and held himself up on his elbow so he could stare down on the beautiful red head. With his free hand he carefully lifted the blanket and searched after Ian’s inner thigh. As soon as he found it he heard a moan from the boy. In fear of waking up the youngest brother he sat up and covered Ian’s mouth, then leaned down, as close to his ear as he could.

“Shh. You want me to blow you or not? 'cos not gonna happen if you wake up the little guy.”

Ian nodded and Mickey smiled and quickly pulled the cover over his head and dragged down Ian’s boxers.  
A deep sigh exited Ian and his body tensed as Mickey took him in his mouth. While sucking he moved his free hand over Ian’s toned body. God, this was hot. 

“Fuck…”  
Ian couldn’t help it. It felt so good.

Mickey let go and crawled up so he could give Ian a kiss.

“Come on, you can’t stop now...” Ian breathed into his mouth.

“Shh… who said I’m gonna stop?”

Ian’s eyes widened when he felt Mickey’s finger circling around his hole and soon Mickey were back under the covers again and replaced the finger with his tongue.

He could feel goosebumps appear on the boy’s body.

“Geez Mick.” Ian sighed.  
He started to squirm and pushed a confused Mickey off of his body, slipped into his boxers and got out of bed.  
He carefully took Liam in his arms and carried him into Debbie’s room.  
As soon as he returned he stepped out of his underwear again and closed the door.  
He let out a small laugh when he saw that Mickey had crawled out of his clothes too.

“Always so damn impatient.” He said shaking his head.”

“Shut up, Gallagher.” He reached out his hand. “Come here.”

Ian crawled on top of Mickey and kissed him all over.  
But Mickey quickly rolled him over and straddled him. His cock already as hard as it could get. And after a deep kiss he soon were down with his tongue on Ian’s hole again.  
He didn’t know why he did it, tasting an asshole had never been on his mind before. Even cum had creeped him out. But right now he wanted this. He wanted to please Ian, hear him moan and see his face all red and scrunched up.  
He took Ian’s cock in his right hand and slowly stroke it while licking away. After a while he straightened his tongue and squeezed it inside of Ian. Who jumped at the feeling, but Mickey felt confident when Ian’s moans got louder and his hands gripping Mickey’s hair.

“Oh, fuck… that feels so-o g-goo...” Ian stammered between the moans and heavy breathing.  
Mickey crawled up, but still had his hand around Ian’s cock.

“I think I wanna fuck you.” He wheezed in Ian’s ear.  
Immediately he was pushed back and Ian sat up staring at him.

“What? You don’t want to?” He asked.  
Ian tilted his head.

“I don’t know…”

“Havn’t you even tried… you know?” Mickey showed two fingers and Ian shook his head.

“No. Never thought about it.”

Silence.

“It’s alright, Ian.” Mickey ensured him and reached after the beer standing on the bedside table. “I can just blow you instead.”

Ian smiled and took the beer from Mickey’s hand, downed it and put the can on the table again. He caressed Mickey’s face, brought him closer and kissed him. While massaging each others tongues Ian guided Mickey’s hand down to his ass. Mickey got the message.

“Lube?” He asked after breaking the kiss and Ian nodded towards the dresser.

“I think Lip’s got some in the bottom drawer.”

Bingo.

Mickey covered his fingers in the gel, asked Ian if he was ready and then slipped in one finger. A hiss and a “fuuck!” from Ian. Mickey took it as easy as he could, he knew very well how it felt the first time. He just let his finger feel Ian for a bit, and as a small distraction he pinched and massaged Ian’s nipples.

“Uh.”

“Feels good?” he asked. Ian nodded.  
Mickey tried another finger.

“Ho-oly shi-it!” The redhead breathed through his teeth and his whole body tensed up.  
Mickey catched his green eyes with his blue and softly he whispered

“Just breathe, and relax.”

Ian nodded again and Mickey could feel that he finally relaxed. He began moving the two fingers in and out, slowly.  
Now Ian began to moan in a pleasured way instead and relaxed even more. 

“Mmm. Yes...fuck Mickey. That feels fucking good.”

Mickey had hit the magic spot.

“Shit Ian. You’re so fucking hot. I wanna fuck you. Now. Think you ready for that?”

There was silence for a short moment.

“Yeah… I think I am.”

Mickey smiled, he was so turned on right now. He wanted to get inside Ian as soon as possible.

“Knees.” he commanded and Ian complied.  
He lubed himself up before lining up. Then slowly pushed the tip inside.

“Holy shit…” he moaned. He had never felt such tightness around his cock before.  
“You okay?”

Ian couldn’t speak but Mickey saw him nod.  
He started to move. Just a few thrusts. So slow.

“Mmm… uh… gah...urgh...”  
So many weird noises were exiting Ian. They made Mickey wanting to speed up.  
He was surprised to feel how much Ian was able to relax. Two fingers were one thing, a cock… taking that with such ease the first time was fucking badass. So he thought he could speed up a bit.  
He gripped Ian’s hips and pounded faster and faster. And Ian seemed to like it. 

“Oh, holy... Fuck me…” Ian almost screamed but stopped himself, afraid of attracting his family.

“Yeah… you’re so fucking good Ian…” Mickey moaned, and he was close now. He wasn’t the only one.

“I’m gonna come.” Ian groaned and Mickey felt him tighten up around his cock. 

Mickey began making deeper and harder thrusts and Ian started breathing louder and then became weirdly quiet. Mickey could only guess he was done.  
But Mickey kept going, Ian didn’t seem to mind. 

“Oh...cra-a-p…” he had never felt such orgasm before. Even though he loved being fucked, this was something he definitely could do again.  
He pulled out and collapsed on his back beside Ian, who did the same.  
They looked at each other with big grins on their lips.

“Good, huh?” Mickey asked. “And if you're just gonna nod at me I’ll smack your face!” He added.  
Ian laughed and of course he gave him a nod, right before kissing him.


	20. Trouble comes running.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey still has a hard time adjusting and after returning home to his own house things gets out of hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for the looong delay. 
> 
> I'm so sorry for this one. I didn't plan on writing such a depressing chapter, but I still feel it kinda fits into the story.
> 
> *WARNING* There's alot of violence here, so skip the middle part of the chapter if you don't like it. Everything will be explained in the next chapter.
> 
>  (This one's from both POV's)
> 
> (Chapter title from the song "Trouble comes running" by Spoon.)

“Kids! Breakfast!”  
The infamous Fiona-morning alarm rung.  
Ian felt the bed shake as Mickey jumped high at the loud noise.

“Jesus fuck! She always does that?”

“Every morning.” Ian yawned and got out of bed.

“Poor bastards.” Mickey mumbled and pressed the pillow over his face, but Ian quickly yanked it away and threw it over his shoulder.

“Come on scaredy cat, coffee’s waiting.”

He got an unpleasant groan from the other one and watched as he turned and faced the wall.  
Ian understood that Mickey probably felt uncomfortable eating breakfast with all the Gallagher siblings. But he wanted to show him he was welcome here, that he didn't had to hide or be ashamed. That this was their free-zone from now on.  
So he slapped Mickey on his thigh. He didn’t react. So he tried another approach.

“I can hear your stomach rumble, Mickey. I know you want breakfast.” He leaned down and whispered close to his ear. “I can make you pancakes?”

Mickey groaned again.

“You my fuckin’ wife now?”  
He sounded irritated and that made Ian snap.

“Fuck off Mickey!” He sighed and went for the door but stopped half way and added.  
“If you really love me, maybe you should try just a little bit harder showing it, asshole.”

As soon as he got downstairs he were met by curious eyes.  
“What?” He calmly asked his siblings and went for the coffee.

“Where’s Mickey?” Fiona asked.  
Ian knew what they wanted. So he decided to give it to them.

“I wore him out.”

Mandy giggled, Fiona clearly quite amused too. Debbie and Carl looked at each other with confused expressions and Lip coughed up a  
“Yeah, we could hear that.”

\----

As Ian left the room Mickey sat up and rubbed his tired eyes with his thumb and middle finger.  
Fuck, he shouldn't have let him go down alone. Ian was right. He really wanted breakfast and he really wanted to be comfortable, and able to act like every normal couple would do. But the fear of getting tons of stupid questions were too strong. He let out a deep sigh and got dressed. He needed to get out.  
He ran downstairs and didn't stop to say goodbye or join the family.  
The cold hit him like a bitch slap in the face. Guess he deserved it.  
How did life get so fucking complicated in such a short time? Like he hadn’t enough to deal with already.  
His dad out of prison were the main problem right now. And he wondered how the hell he should explain being gone all night.  
The door stood open when he got home and two of his brothers were talking on the porch.

“The fuck you been?” Iggy exclaimed.

“None of your fucking business.”

He was about to enter the house but Joey stopped him.  
“Wouldn’t go in there if I were you. Dad’s moody as fuck. He wants us on a job.”

Fuck. Mickey contemplated running the other way but it was too late. His dad exited the house.

“Alright you bastards! This way.” Terry pointed down the street with a bat in his hand.  
The boys had no choice but to follow their dad.

“What’s the job?” Mickey asked.

“Gonna beat the fag out of a kid.”  
Mickey immediately felt a knot in his stomach.  
But tried to stay as calm as possible.

“Oh yeah? Who?”

“I don’t know his fucking name. He tried to make a fucking move on my buddy Darren. That earns him a fucking cracked skull.”  
Terry explained and quickened his pace down the road.  
Mickey swallowed hard.

“I get it Mick. Sorry, I couldn’t do anything. I tried to keep you out of this but dad…” Iggy said in a low voice filled with pity.

“Shut the fuck up!” Mickey growled through his teeth.

They ended up outside a small liquor store.

“Joey, you’re on look out. Mick, Igs, let’s give this fucker what he deserves.”

They were greeted by a young, blonde guy behind the counter. He couldn’t have been much older than Ian which made this even harder. The welcoming smile on his face disappeared as soon as he saw who they were. Terry wasted no time getting behind the counter and raising the bat and punched him hard in the stomach. He didn’t care if this really was the right guy or not.  
The boy immediately wrapped his arms around his thin body and fell down on the floor.  
Even though Mickey stood on the other side, not seeing his expression as he received kick after kick, he felt sick, sweat dripping down his face and he somewhat zoned out.  
He had never felt this bad for one of their beat down victims before. But everything was different now.  
All he could see was himself lying there taking his dads kicks.  
He were ripped out of his thoughts as Terry turned and yelled at the brothers.

“You useless motherfuckers, go get the booze, then we’re out of here.” He took a last look at the boy. “I think this one got the message.”  
Mickey and Iggy did as they were told and made a quick exit. Joey joined them as they started to run away from the scene. Leaving Terry behind.  
They quickly made it to an alley as they heard police sirens approaching.

They all were panting for air and pressed their backs up against the brick wall beside each other.

“What are we going to do?” Joey asked.  
He got four eyes on him.

“Nothing. We do nothing.” Mickey wheezed. “I fucking hope they put dad away for good.”

Finally the sound of Terry shouting, sirens and screeching tires faded and they could breathe out in relief.

“Come on. I need a fucking drink.” Mickey said and began walking.

Carrying the big cases of booze had made his arms sore. He put them down on the living room table and fell down on the couch. Tilting back his head and letting out a big sigh.

“Fuck, that was intense.” Iggy said before pouring whiskey down his throat.  
“Got any weed Mick?”

Mickey nodded and searched his pockets. He also found a small bag of coke, which he kept to himself.  
He needed to forget everything about this day.

\-----

Ian were shocked to see Mickey just leaving like that. But what could he do?  
He and Lip sat on Ians bed with a joint while Mandy laid in Lips bed, singing some lame song off-key.

“So, where d’you think Mickey went off to?” Ian asked Mandy between drags from the joint.

“I don’t know. Seemed like you managed to piss him off quite good. He’s probably hiding somewhere.”

Ian bit his lip and glared up to the ceiling. Maybe he should go and look for him. But when Mandy’s phone rang the muffled sound of someone yelling on the other line he already knew who it was.

“Fuck, Mick, I can’t hear shit! What the fuck's happened?” She sounded worried and that made Ian worried too.  
“Mick… Dad did what? You okay?” She slipped down from the bed and went out from room. Fuck no. Ian needed to hear this. He joined her in the hall, leaning his back against the wall with his eyes trying to make out what Mandy’s expressions meant.

“Alright! Mick! Stay the fuck there I’m coming to get you.”  
Her eyes began tearing up as soon as she hung up.

“What’s happening? Where is he?” Ian asked impatiently.

“Uh… he...I gotta…” she couldn’t finish, her tears were streaming down her face and she fell into Ian’s arms.

“It’s okay Mands. Tell me where he is and I’ll go find him. You can stay here with Lip. Okay?”

She nodded.  
“Uhm, he’s in the buildings.”

He ran like he had never ran before. His heart in his throat and tears in his eyes.  
He followed the sound of gunshots and found Mickey on one of the roofs. 

“Hey, Mick.” 

Mickey turned to look at him. His face was totally blank. Ian swallowed and slowly walked towards him. He put a soft hand on the shorter boys shoulder and with the other carefully grabbed the gun from his hand.

“Mick. It’s okay.” He pulled him in for a hug and felt the boy relax. They stood there for a while, Ian’s hand going through Mickey’s messed up hair.

“He fucking killed him. Bastard.” Mickey sniffled.

Ian just hushed him and squeezed his body harder.

“I’m taking you home and you can get some sleep.”  
He put Mickey’s arm over his shoulder, holding him up straight as they walked down the stairs and returned to the Gallagher house.  
They were met by a very concerned Mandy.

“Oh, fuck. You look like shit Mickey.” She hugged him tight but he didn’t return the hug. He was just a lump of flesh at this stage.

“Is he okay?” Lip asked looking at Ian.

“I don’t know. He didn’t make much sense. Don’t know what he’s taken. And he only managed to say something about how Terry had killed someone.”

“Oh shit.” Mandy and Lip said at the same time.

“I’m taking him upstairs so he can sleep it off.”

Mandy nodded.  
“Thanks Ian. For getting him.”

Ian gave her a smile. “Of course Mands.”  
Lip helped him to get Mickey upstairs and into bed.

“You tried Ian, that’s more than most people would do.” Lip comforted and returned to Mandy.  
Ian watched as his lover fell in to deep sleep and he decided to get some sleep himself down on the couch.  
Fuck, this day.


	21. Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "His dad was gone now. He shouldn’t be afraid anymore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm still having a hard time writing, but I'm leaving this short, but cute, chapter here.  
> Next one will be in Ian's POV.  
> Enjoy!

How long had he been asleep?  
Ian's room was dark and empty, chatter and the sound of rattling plates coming from downstairs.  
He slowly crawled out of bed, his head hurt like a mother fucker.  
He needed an advil, or maybe ten.  
The first thing he saw when he entered the bathroom was the broken mirror. The one Ian must have thrown his fist at. Fuck. He remembered the warm feeling he had felt when Ian told him about being jealous. Suddenly he felt angry. Angry at himself. His dad was gone now. He shouldn’t be afraid anymore.  
He ran his fingers across the few pieces of glass that still stuck to the mirror then he began looking for the advil.  
He took deep breaths while walking downstairs. He could do this.  
With a bit of hesitation he approached the kitchen table where everyone was in the middle of dinner. One chair was empty though, between Ian and Mandy.

“Stop staring and sit down ass face.” Mandy said without turning her head. 

Mickey sighed and joined them.  
Ian welcomed him with a big smile and he couldn’t deny the fact that this actually was nice. Fiona handed him a plate filled with mashed potatoes and some type of fish. Which he drenched in hot sauce.  
He was a bit shocked when Fiona started talking.

“So, Mickey, what are you going to do this summer? Thinking about going back to school?” 

“Sitting in a bench, listening to some old hag talk about stupid ass shit, no thank you.” he mumbled and stuffed his mouth full.  
He almost choked when he felt Ian’s hand on his thigh. Their eyes met and the thought of slapping the hand away disappeared. Instead he grew a smile and put his hand on Ian’s.

“oh, Get a room!” Mandy exclaimed and punched Mickey’s arm, who, of course, punched back.

“There, there. We have enough of fights between siblings in this house!” Fiona said while glaring at Ian and Lip.

“What? We never fight.” Lip answered.

Dinner went by. And Mickey became more and more comfortable. He even dared to wipe off some sauce from his boyfriends face. Yes, boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. I edited this chapter today, so the spelling is hopefully better, but I was stupid to edit it on my phone, so it fucked up the formatting. Hope you can read it anyways.


End file.
